*

Happy

2011-08-01T04:51:00.000-07:00

"Happy"

Someone once told me that you have to choose
What you win or lose
You can't have everything
Don't you take chances
Might feel the pain
Don't you love in vain
Cause love won't set you free
I can't stand by the side
And watch this life pass me by
So unhappy
But safe as could be

So what if it hurts me?
So what if I break down?
So what if this world just throws me off the edge
My feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
Don't care about all the pain in front of me
Cause i'm just trying to be happy, yeah
Just wanna be happy, yeah

Holding on tightly
Just can't let it go
Just trying to play my role
Slowly disappear, ohh
But all these days, they feel like they're the same
Just different faces, different names
Get me out of here
I can't stand by your side, ohh no
And watch this life pass me by, pass me by

So what if it hurts me?
So what if I break down?
So what if this world just throws me off the edge
My feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
Don't care about all the pain in front of me
Cause i'm just trying to be happy

So any turns that I can't see,
like I'm a stranger on this road
But don't say victim
Don't say anything

I just wanna be happy

Ready to Love

2011-07-29T22:06:00.000-07:00

"Ready For Love"

I am ready for love
Why are you hiding from me
I'd quickly give my freedom
To be held in your captivity

I am ready for love
All of the joy and the pain
And all the time that it takes
Just to stay in your good grace
Lately I've been thinking
Maybe you're not ready for me
Maybe you think I need to learn maturity
They say watch what you ask for
Cause you might receive
But if you ask me tomorrow
I'll say the same thing

I am ready for love
Would you please lend me your ear?
I promise I won't complain
I just need you to acknowledge I am here

If you give me half a chance
I'll prove this to you
I will be patient, kind, faithful and true
To a man who loves music
A man who loves art
Respect's the spirit world
And thinks with his heart

I am ready for love
If you'll take me in your hands
I will learn what you teach
And do the best that I can

I am ready for love
Here with an offering of
My voice
My Eyes
My soul
My mind

Tell me what is enough
To prove I am ready for love

I am ready

Cruel, Cruel Summer

2011-07-27T19:35:00.000-07:00

I've lived in Kansas for pretty much 85% of my life. Truly not much surprises me about the things that happen in this state. Now from what every Kansan knows, our weather is pretty freaking ridiculous....from intense rain, flooding, drought, famine, Tsunami's and earthquakes (total dramatization). However for once I am just flabbergasted, YEA flabbergasted by the severity of the weather right now.

If you live in Kansas right now, you would know that we are suffering from an intense heat wave. It already gets pretty hot and spicy in Kansas during the summers where we see record highs of 103+ degrees, but this summer has really taken the cake!

Today the high was 113 degrees...what the hell is that!? 113 degrees! that's like walking outside to instant death.

In a normal Kansas summer by the time evening sets in, your down to semi comfortable temperatures where you can enjoy low 80's, possibly 70's. Right now it is about 9:30pm and my temperature gauge says 94 degrees............my poor poor electric bill. PLEASE PLEASE lets not talk about how Westar is probably giggling in their fanny packs right now, loving every AC sucking moment of this heat wave.

I am literally fearing to check the mail, last month my bill was 50.00 dollars, I am expecting to take that by 4 Times on this bill. UGH murder me!

It truly is a cruel summer!

~*Much Love My Bloggers*~ (and stay cool)

Dear Reality, Go away!

2011-07-26T17:08:00.000-07:00

Today has been......a hard day, just putting it lightly. It has been just a really hard, stressful, emotionally draining day.

While sitting at work taking mentally straining phone calls, trying to remember how surgical procedures are covered and trying to figure out if Dr. Jones is a network provider, my mind was miles away. My mind was many, many miles away with my father. Today my daddy was having a surgery, today my father laid on table, while under anesthesia being medically altered by a doctor. During this time there was the ever present possibility that he may never wake up...though small the possibility was, it was possible.

My mind could not let go of that one simple fact, that in one simple instance there could have been a possibility I would never see my father again. Just typing this makes me tear up.

It was too much of a reality that life really truly could change in one little moment.

If anyone knows me and my fathers relationship, its quirky and strange but in the end it works for us. I love my father more that anyone in this world, he has always been there for me, always that consistent figure in my life. Through all the best moments of my life, my daddy has been there. The thought that he may not be there (or live forever, cause he will) fills me with a dread I cant quite explain.

My father is now home recovering and likely to make a full recovery, but the fact remains that eventually at some point in time I will have to face the moment when my dad may get sick or old or sick and old....whatever it maybe, it may be something he will not recover from and Daddy's little girl will have to stand by and watch..that helpless moment.

Until that moment comes, Ill enjoy having my dad every moment I can, making fun of his silly ways and arguing with his ridiculous ideas...Because in reality I wouldn't trade my father for anyone else in the world.

~*Much Love my Bloggers*~

And I'm back in the game!

2011-07-24T08:03:00.002-07:00

Too many of you know the many horrific stories I have of dating, we know of the crazy roller coaster I have been on. Its been on fun ride for sure!
Ive been in Topeka now for almost 8 months and though the dating scene has been a little bit different from Salina, I still find that though there are plenty of fish (hehe like that reference) out there, MOST are not keepers!

Recently I had taken a break from dating, pleading off emotionally committing myself to anyone for while. It was just becoming to much for me, I think it takes a big person to be able to step back and recognize when you just need to get out of the game for while.
I took that time to really devote to pouring myself back into work and pulling myself back to my center. Finding that emotional easy medium.
After that relaxing, well i guess it wasn't all that relaxing (if you call working 67 hour weeks relaxing), time of reflection I feel that I am ready to tackle the beast of dating again.
I feel refreshed and back to center again.

SO with that said, lately it has been hit and miss with a few guys that I had been talking to. I have utilized what I like to call the band aid method into dating now. If I really truly feel like the situation isn't going to work with a guy, instead of just letting it slowly dwindle off, like a band aid that needs to come off, I just rip it off, or end the situation quickly, no delays.....it is better this way. Whats the point of wasting each others time.

So on the note of dating I would like to share a VERY recent dating experience. And when I say recent, I mean last night!
(Names will presently be changed to protect the innocent)
We shall call him CARL for now.
Carl and I had met on line and after a few days of chatting, we decided that we should go on a date. After setting the date and time, we decided on a delicious date to Ruby Tues...Red Robin (Carl would have got that joke, sorry I'm leaving all of you out of that joke).
To say I was nervous was an understatement (as some of you know I also have social anxiety), I literally was shaking as I was doing my hair and make up. Carl and I had had some great conversation prior to the date so I really wanted the date to go well.
Question: Is it bad when you pray prior to date? Never mind
I got to Red Robin first and got the table and waited.....anxiety can be such a bitch. Carl finally arrived and I was pleasantly surprised. He looked just like he did in his pictures, actually he was taller that I thought he would be, BIG BROWNIE POINTS.
You could tell that both of us were nervous, and I know if my bestie Kathy was there, she would have punched me in the head for chattering and blabbering on like I was. I really must have been annoying.
Dinner went so well though, the conversation flowed really well, so well I took two bites of my burger and ate like 5 fries....(i cant believe I didn't eat that damn delicious burger).
As the dinner progressed I knew I wanted the night to continue so I offered to take Carl to the movies. He agreed (yay) and we proceeded to see Transformers 3 in 3D, which if you any of you haven't seen it, you should, it is AMAZING!. we had a great time in the movies too, making idle comments of things that were happening, giggling (ok i was giggling) at funny things we would say...AND he held my hand...HEHHEHEHHEHEHEH (ok yes, more giggles).
After the LONG movie, it turned out to be a gorgeous night so we headed over to a local park, we swung, I almost vomited on the merry go round, and then we found a picnic table. We sat under the stars with the nice night breeze going. It was gorgeous in the night...UNTIL....the hippies showed up!!!
WTF right!!!?
yea you heard me, Hippies...Carl and I were lounging in the dark, when all of sudden to two hippie people came walking up to us in the dark. I was so wigged out, cause in Topeka, I was sure they were coming to murder us. They introduced themselves, shook our hands and idle meandered back to the park. They swung on the swings right next to us...almost as if they were watching us.
The whole situation was so.....unreal, I just couldn't believe it. PEOPLE I SWEAR.

After hanging out in the park, for hours, Carl and I decided to end the night. We left the park...and the Hippies. We decided that date #2 was in order.
All in All the date was a 9 out of 10, probably one of the best dates Ive had in a really, really long time. I look forward to seeing Carl again and when I do, you guys can bet Ill be blogging about it.

~*Much Love My Bloggers*~

Lets Try this Again

2011-07-24T07:32:00.000-07:00

OK Kids,
It would be easy today for me to post a blog that apologizes for me not posting a blog for almost two months. But guess what? I am not going to do that, I am fully aware that I have shirked my blog posting duties and YES many things have happened, but rather than play catch up and bring you guys up to speed, I am just going to start posting from where things are currently in my life and hopefully I can fill the holes in later.

I will add though I have missed writing blogs so much. I didn't realize how much I would miss filling these pages with the crazy events of my life.

So here we go again my faithful blog readers. Its my life as we know it and love it!

~*Much Love my Bloggers*~

Gravity

2011-07-24T07:24:00.000-07:00

*to you

Something always brings me back to you
It never takes too long
No matter what I say or do
I still feel you here 'til the moment I'm gone

You hold me without touch
You keep me without chains
I never wanted anything so much
Than to drown in your love and not feel your rain

Set me free, leave me be
I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity
Here I am and I stand so tall
Just the way I'm supposed to be
But you're on to me and all over me

Oh, you loved me 'cause I'm fragile
When I thought that I was strong
But you touch me for a little while
And all my fragile strength is gone

I live here on my knees
As I try to make you see
That you're everything I think I need
Here on the ground
But you're neither friend nor foe
Though I can't seem to let you go
The one thing that I still know is that
You're keeping me down

You're on to me, on to me and all over

Something always brings me back to you
It never takes too long...

Puppy Update

2011-05-25T19:13:00.000-07:00

Today the puppies are 3 1/2 weeks old. Which in relation to human age would make then 1 1/2 year olds. This all equals out to them being super whiny, hungry and get into everything on shaky wobbly legs.

Bless their little hearts, I love them, I really do, HOWEVER...I CANT WAIT FOR THEIR LITTLE ASSES TO BE GONE!!!!!

(sorry for the caps but its that deep!)

Its been amazing watching my babies grow up but I cant wait to see them go on to their new homes. 2 1/2 more weeks that's all I keep telling myself.

It will be crazy having just Saydee and Oakley in the house. I can almost say that it will be weird having it so quiet.

The babies are cutting teeth and trying to eat solid food. Trying being the operative word, I have tried Solid food, semi solid food and then canned puppy food. At this point, the canned puppy food is what they like, which i think it was a given.

I will keep you all updated on the progress of my babies and pictures.

~*Much Love my Bloggers*~

Surviving the Storm

2011-05-22T18:52:00.000-07:00

The fact that I live in tornado alley has never really bothered me. I have had some pretty darn close calls when it comes to tornado's. Yesterday I can add that to my list of close calls.

The day started out like any other day, the weather looked....normal in all aspects. I had to work at Macy's so I was pretty sad that I would not be able to go out and enjoy the gorgeous weather and the carnival that was in town.
By the time I got off of work I was pretty pooped, at that point, they sky was ominous...yea I used Ominous. There really isn't any other word to explain the sky. You could see the the wall clouds moving in and the radio was screeching something about golf ball sized hail. I stopped by Platos closet really quick, grabbed my items and got my arse home.

1 block away from home, I thought "i refuse to let rain ruin my night", so i decided to go to walmart. Not even 15 minutes into my shopping venture, the hail began, and I don't mean baby hail, I mean HOLY SHIT hail. Amongst all the hail sounds I hear the tornado sirens, I heard them just in time for the walmart worker to come running into my aisle and direct me toward the back of the store. All i could think was, come on people its a normal tornado warning, I was wrong. Sure as shit there was a tornado on the ground.

After 2 Long hot hours and one cranky Jina later, I was able to leave walmart. 7 tornado's touched down in Kansas last night. A real night of the twisters.

WELCOME TO TORNADO ALLEY is what the sign to Kansas should say

I really wish my old storm chasing buddy could have been there with me last night

~* Much Love my Bloggers*~

Better late than never...right?

2011-05-22T18:29:00.000-07:00

So.........................................

as the title of this blog post says, its better late the never. I haven't posted since the beginning of this month because it truly has been one heck of a month. SOOOOO many things have happened and I apologize but I am not going to try and jam pack them into one blog, nor am I going to post 40 posts explaining everything. Lets just chalk this lost time for a loss and keep on going from where I left off.
HOWEVER...
I will give you an update on a huge event that happened.

Saydee ended up giving birth!

She gave birth to 9 Beautiful puppies. Here i thought that I could expect only 4-5. Leave it to my dog to have me fooled.
As much as I have enjoyed the puppies being here, I will not lie that I am ready for them to leave.

I will tell you at the time of this post the puppies are officially 18 days old.

They have come a long way from day one. the puppies have opened and they are walking. Today I discovered that some of them are cutting teeth as well, which is awesome because next week I can start them on solid food. Saydee has had a hard time keeping up with all nine babies so them eating solid foods will be a God send.

I ended up with 5 Boys, 4 girls. I thought that if I was lucky I would get one rare sealed reverse brindle puppy, but crazy enough half the litter ended up this way!

At the time of this post I have also found homes for all but 1 puppy.

June 10th will be placement day for all the babies into their new homes. Some of my babies actually aren't even staying here in Kansas, 2 babies are going to Colorado and 1 is going to Ohio, what cute little travelers they are. After much debate and thinking, I finally decided to keep one of the puppies as well. One of the puppies ended up looking identical to Saydee, I was shocked since i figured that most of the would look like her. So now Saydee son will stay with us. Our little Oakley!

Ill try and document his growth as much as possible as well.
If you are all wondering why it has been so hard for me to keep up with blogging, ill be honest, I have gotten a second job, I am now officially a slave to Macy's as well. That plus the puppies, plus training for my first 1k/5k, and a rapidly growing social calendar, life has been hard to keep up with. Also after my puppies are gone, I am enrolling for the fall semester in college. I wish i could thank Saydee so much for that, her puppies are helping me afford this. I am going to start with 3-6 credit hours which will be two classes. I do not want to take on more than I can handle.

I will try to add more and more to the upcoming posts, there has just been alot that has happened and I apologize again for not including you all in the mix.

~*Much love my bloggers*~

Any Day Now

2011-05-01T12:40:00.000-07:00

**SAYDEE PREGNANCY UPDATE**

So I am 100% sure that these puppies will be the death of me! and NO I am not being over dramatic (yes I am). I have been patiently waiting for the last two months for the arrival of these puppies. I have a genuine fear that these babies will arrive when I am not home to help with the birth.

My hopes were that Saydee would give birth this weekend, especially since I have weekends off. But to my disappointment that has not been the case. We actually had a false alarm Friday night, Saydee went into a false labor Friday night at about 12:00am, she was panting and contracting, the whole dog and pony show. But about 5am everything just stopped and she resumed life as normal. WHAT A LET DOWN!
So to date, I am back at the waiting game. I have this image in my head where Saydee's puppies are inside her belly plotting against me. They plan to stay in the safety of the womb forever......LE SIGH.
I will keep you all updated as things continue, but as I've stated before, it could be any day now...
~*Much Love My Bloggers*~

Getting my feet wet

2011-05-01T12:26:00.000-07:00

I've said it a few times in previous posts, but I have discussed how hard it has been converting from a town I lived in for 15 years full of friends, social life and family to moving to a town where I knew absolutely no one. I was well aware that it would take some time to really establish relationships. I guess I was really afraid this loneliness would last forever.

However the longer I live here, the better it gets. Navigating the city isn't hard at all anymore. I have gotten my bearings and figured the fast ways to get places. I have also started obtaining a "social life", my world not longer coincides within the walls of my apartment.
Just last night I had a great night over at a coworkers house. Several of my coworkers showed up and we proceeded to have a night of bbqing and drinks by the chiminea. It was a great night of laughing, story telling and stress relief. It felt so good to get back into conversation and having people to talk to.

I am hoping that the longer and longer I am here I can eventually call some of these people good friends. It never fails to amaze me the great people you meet in life.....

In this moment I just feel so alive :)

~*Much Love My Bloggers*~

Me and My big mouth

2011-04-22T19:38:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I just think to myself...Jen, you just need to keep your big mouth shut!

While in training the other day, My co-worker and I were chatting about nothing and everything. For some reason the conversation lead over to car accidents and how long ago it had been since we had ever been in one. Unfortunately for my co-worker she had been victim to one not so long ago that caused major damage to many of her lower vertebrae, but thankfully she is still recovering from that and made it through alive. This leads to my utterly stupid response "oh, its been YEARS since I've been in a car accident (this does not count the reversing into another car issue I had one night in aggieville, there was no damage and it was a baby tap, don't judge me!) and I'm hoping it keeps going that way"......

That was it, no "KNOCK on WOOD" no, "God willing", my stupid idiot self just left it at that, with that bad JU JU just floating in the air, ready to wheeled out its damage.

So I leave work with my usual carefree attitude, without a care in the world. It was typical 5:00 traffic in a construction zone. Streets were congested and I was sitting in a long line of cars at a red light. The light turns green and the car in front of me pulls off and just as I am about to accelerate, BOOOOOM!!!! right from the rear I get hit......................

Coincidence, I THINK NOT!!! That bad JU JU followed right into 5:00 traffic.

This ended up being a three car accident with me at the forefront of the line. Though I was not at fault for any of it, I still felt anger to the very tips of my toes.

Come to find out, everyone involved worked at the same place. How the HELL can I get mad when everyone involved is a damn coworker....le sigh, let me simmer.

After exchanging information, waiting 20 minutes for the cops (lucky no one was dying!) and a battle with my insurance company, I was on my way home a little worse for wear.

This story is just a prime example that you should just keep your mouth shut when it comes to piping off on the last time something happened to you and make sure you Knock on some damn wood!

~*Much Love my Bloggers*~

The Forbidden Fruit....

2011-04-22T19:16:00.000-07:00

Living in the city has brought on some fun and interesting life experiences. I guess you can say that maybe my mindset is starting to alter a bit. Meeting new people has begun to open up a new world to me.

So dating in the city has been an interesting trek, it has had its up and downs, but overall interesting is the only word I can attach to it.

I had many rules that I had set for myself when it came to dating, guidelines that I sort of followed. But I think that that held me back. It kept me from truly being able to truly enjoy the world of dating because I held it to some kind of standard. Now I'm saying that I have lowered my expectations nor have I changed my standard as in changing what I expect from my partners. BUT what I have done is broadened my horizons so's to speak.

One of my most highest on high rules has been that I shall not date or engage in "activities" with younger men. I always felt like it was going back on the intellectual scale.

Now, I know that sounds harsh, but as all us women know, men only get better with age......OR so I thought.

Keep in mind, that I still hold the mentality that when it comes to having a relationship, an older man is really the way to go. BUT to truly regain your fun, enthusiastic love life, you really have to dabble back in the age. Lets face it, these kids know how to have fun!

(I know that this blog either makes me sound old or a pedophile, but just let me tell my damn story).

I recently have snagged me one of these younger man species and believe me I was skeptical at first BUT I will hand it to him, He had the spunk, the fire and the eager to please attitude I wish half of the men older than him had. Now I know what the storyline meant truly in "How Stella Got Her Groove Back". Even though this gentleman was only 7 years my Junior, it felt good to know that I was able to hook line and sink a younger man.

Eventually ill meander back to my age bracket, but for now....ill have my fun :) hahahaha

~* Much Love my Bloggers*~

Puppy Predictions

2011-04-20T18:45:00.000-07:00

I know it seems like I have been apologizing alot for not posting blogs but....I apologize for not posting blogs, alot has been going on and its been tough keeping up with the Jonses.

This blog is actually going to be dedicated to my puppy predictions.
Thats right kids, It has been confirmed that Saydee is in deed pregnant. What brought me to this conclusion...what I would say it was the over grown dog belly, or perhaps the giant dog teets, or maybe the nesting that has been taking place.

We are offically into Day 50 of the 64-69 day Pregnancy, time flies when your having...fun?

I honestly have no idea what size to expect, its either going to be a big litter with regular size puppies or a small litter with large puppies. So many possibilities.

The colors are also the biggest mystery. I have posted below pictures of the colors of dad and a picture of Saydee and then below what my litter color predictions are, we will compare later to see if my predictions were correct.
Dad

Saydee

Puppy Predictions

These three little guys are pretty much my guesstament on what Saydees babys should look like, im hoping!

I will, fortunately, be taking a week off in May so that I can literally sit at home and wait for Saydee to go into labor. She has her baby pool nesting area set up, fully equipped with heating pad and blankets.

Its so interesting to be able to watch Saydees belly and actually see the babies move, creepy, but cool.

again, i will keep you as updated as I can with the babies impending birth and also load pictures after they are here.

*~Much Love my Bloggers~*

Who am I to say

2011-04-10T19:13:00.000-07:00

Love of my life, my soulmate You're my best friend Part of me like breathing Now half of me is left Don't know anything at all Who am I to say you love me I don't know anything at all And who am I to say you need me Color me blue I'm lost in you Don't know why I'm still waiting Many moons have come and gone Don't know why I'm still searching Don't know anything at all And who am I to say you love me I don't know anything at all And who am I to say you need me Now you're a song I love to sing Never thought it feels so free Now I know what's meant to be And that's okay with me But who am I to say you love me And who am I to say you need me And who am I to say you love me I don't know anything at all And who am I to say you love me I don't know anything at all And who am I to say you need me I don't know anything at all

My Mental workout

2011-04-02T22:31:00.000-07:00

Living in Topeka has presented a few challenges to me. Don't get me wrong, I'm a challenge loving girl as much as the next and I attack my challenges head on. I have found that moving to a town where you know absolutely no one presents some issues when it comes to trying to fill up your time on the weekends that you get off. Its not like I can just pick up the phone and just call someone and invite them to hang out because...I know no one. SOOOOO...with the weekends that I have, I have tried to fill them with exploring my city and all the great things it has to offer. Today I plotted my trip to the local library. No keep in mind, coming from small town salina, I didn't have high hopes for this trip, our library back at home had much to be desired. I cant say the same for the Topeka Library, to be honest the moment I walked in, I was sure I was even in a library at all, it was like walking into a museum. It had a large spiraling staircase and marble floors, gorgeous wood paneling and high, high ceilings. It was in other words "beautiful". I promptly signed up for a library card, which again, unlike salina didn't require the name of my first born child and my blood type. It took 1 minute and I was on my way to book heaven. Amongst the many many different sections of the library, there was a cafe, art gallery and a genealogy station. I spent 2 1/2 hours and walked out with 5 books (max check out was 99 books, HOLY SCHMOLIES). I have an intense love for reading, but had kind of lost touch with that. Today I found that love again....and it was good LOL. I spent the day at the park on a blanket with pseudo-preggers Saydee, Pandora radio and a great book by my favorite author Sandra Brown. I realize that I don't always have to find something new in the city, maybe just rediscovering what I already loved doing just in a new environment. ~*Much Love My Bloggers*~

He is always listening...

2011-04-02T22:10:00.000-07:00

Sorry everyone, I know I have been slacking on my blogging duties and I refuse to make excuses...so I wont and I'll move on to typing this joyous blog. Lately I have been at a crossroads with my career, it always felt like I had stale-mated at my job and I needed something more. You know its bad that when the moment a new internal job posting comes out and your anywhere close to the qualifications you find yourself hitting the submit application button. Yea, that was me for sure. I have wanted more and moved to Topeka for the exposure to more positions. I found myself praying to God for guidance or an opportunity (and I know that that's not how God works, He doesn't just grant wishes like some Genie in a bottle). Well three days ago my two supervisors call me into a meeting room for some SUPER SECRET meeting, which just sent me into a crazy panic attack and scrounging for a box big enough to carry the crap from my desk in. Once I entered the meeting room I found two of my other co-workers in the room as well....GREAT DOWNSIZING, that's 3 of us getting voted off the island. I apprehensively entered the meeting, but soon found out the true meaning behind the meeting. We were all being promoted onto a new skill set ( I am not going to try and explain skill sets, because your heads would explode), which basically meant we all got promotions!!! I was beaming from ear to ear and I did a happy dance (and yes it was embarrassing, if any of you have seen me dance, you know why). It was as if God knew exactly what I needed and filled it, which of course He did and God always delivers. God is sooo good and I am feeling more blessed than ever. I start training in two weeks and I cant wait. I will keep you all posted as training progresses ~*Much Love my Bloggers*~

My new neighbors

2011-03-21T15:41:00.000-07:00

For the last few weeks I have been watching my new neighbors move in. They seem like a very nice couple and they dont seem like the partying type.

They didnt have much to move in but their place looks pretty cozy...

I took some pictures of my new neighbors (creepy I know) but I wanted to introduce them to you.

I dub them Mr and Mrs Nestor....

cute right!? so i have two turtle doves that have made a nest right outside my window and across my balcony. I can literally look right into their nest.

Mr and Mrs Nestor have been creating this nest for the last couple of weeks now and now have taken permanent residence.

Well today I have confirmation as why they have taken permanent residence, they have laid their new baby egg. Its going to be hard to get a shot of the egg, but I will try to document its progress and of course its hatching. I am thinking the hatching will happen close to Saydee's puppies birth, so....TADAHH!! I'll be documenting two births!! woohoo!

Stay Tuned as I give you updates on the status of the Nestors Egg/hatchling. I cant wait till its born and starts trying to fly, HOW EXCITING!!!

ok ok, little things excite me!

~*Much Love Bloggers*~

No Clue

2011-03-18T19:27:00.002-07:00

Pregnancy Update# 2

sorry kids I dont have much to report in way of Saydee's pregnancy.

Its all quiet on the homefront and to be honest, I cant for sure say at this point in time if she is pregnant or not still.

Though she has been sleeping alot more often, I cant say she looks different at all. I know that all the reports tell me that you wont see much physical change until the last few weeks but geesh, I just want one solid piece of evidence that lets me have some ray of hope!

I still cant take Saydee to the dog park, she is a mad dog killer type right now, seems like if she is pregnant it makes her hate all other dogs....weird

Puppy Stage:

The blastocystes will grow into an embryos.
During the next two weeks the important organs will develop.

Ill keep you all updated as things continue and I wish i had more to report but....what can we do!!?

~*Much Love Bloggers*~

Puppy Countdown:Day 7

2011-03-07T16:53:00.000-08:00

This is the first update to Saydee's TENTATIVE* pregnancy
*by tentative, I mean Saydee's pregnancy is not confirmed yet, because I wont know for sure until week 4 or so.

I already suspect that Saydee my be with puppies because i have already noticed some odd differences. She sleeps alot more than normal, she is much more mellow and moody.
We visited the dog park today and she just happened to maul another dog....MOODY? I'd say so!
There are no visible signs yet, that wont come for at least another 4 weeks but I am crossing my fingers that she is carrying!

Here is the official calendar post for the status on the puppies

March 7th pregnancy status:

-Fertilised eggs migrate down the oviducts and into the uterine horns.
-The migration continue to enable even spacing of the embryos.
-During this migration the eggs will grow into a blastocystes

I will continue to keep you all posted and pictures will come up as she gets closer and actually has visual signs.

~*Much Love Bloggers*~

For You

2011-03-04T23:15:00.000-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0put0_a--Ng

When the rain is blowing in your face
And the whole world is on your case
I could offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love

When the evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one there to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love

I know you haven't made your mind up yet
But I would never do you wrong
I've known it from the moment that we met
No doubt in my mind where you belong

I'd go hungry, I'd go black and blue
I'd go crawling down the avenue
No, there's nothing that I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love

The storms are raging on the rolling sea
And on the highway of regret
Though winds of change are blowing wild and free
You ain't seen nothing like me yet

I could make you happy, make your dreams come true
Nothing that I wouldn't do
Go to the ends of the earth for you
To make you feel my love

THE COUNTDOWN BEGINS

2011-03-01T17:06:00.001-08:00

**breaking news**

I am going to be a grandma!!!
ok ok, now we all know A) i am too damn young to have kids that would be able to have kids, B) I don't have actually have human children.
But my dog is pretty much my child! I think that qualifies enough
So...back to the breaking news!!!
I recently decided to breed my boxer because (the damn dog needs to earn her rent, KIDDING) I love my dog with all my heart and Ive been dying to have another boxer, but its always a risk getting another puppy.
After searching and searching I found an awesome couple that breed boxers and agreed to stud for me. Last Friday I ventured down to good old Ellsworth, Kansas (basically middle of nowhere) and delivered my dogs carnal treasure....I mean delivered my dog to them for the week.
Now to be honest, its been hell not having my baby around, but I knew this was a necessary evil to ensure a great litter.
Once I got to the breeders, i got to meet the future father of Saydee's babies.
Shocked is all I can say to describe my reaction to him. Border was the most gorgeous boxer I have EVER seen in my life. He is a sealed black brindle boxer (so basically black, but in the right light he is chocolate) that was just MASSIVE!!! solid muscle, huge head and sweet, gentle disposition. He was PERFECT!
I couldn't be happier with the match, saydee is brindle, which basically looks like a reverse tiger.
The puppies they could throw are endless. I am very very excited!
As of today we are in a impending countdown, it takes 63-64 days for a dog gestation, so the first week of May is the due date!
From here on out, my blog periodically becomes Saydees Puppy calendar. I will document her pregnancy, progress, birth and then PUPPYDOM!!!!!
its an exciting time for my blog, so bloggers, STAY TUNED

Drama Queen

2011-02-20T07:05:00.000-08:00

dra·ma queen: melodramatic person: somebody who likes to make a drama out of a situation by acting in an emotional way

Ok, ok, I am well aware guys that last nights blog post was.....dramatic to say the least, BUT I am bit of a drama queen and none of you should be surprised.

I don't want you all to worry that I will become some heartless cold wench, but there are few things I plan on straightening in my life.
I am sure all of you are wondering what spawned this whole blog and I am also sure that some of you could figure it out.
Its usually guy related and lets just say (for all sensitive purposes i wont go into a lot of detail) yesterday I got the proverbial relationship kiss of death, I was dubbed the really good friend. OUCH, SHOT TO HEART!!
Though I keep my great friend, lets just say my mind set was definitely not on the friend course, but I'm going to grab my bags and head back down the trail and take the side of the road that forked down to friendville, because i must have got bad directions cause i was was definitely going toward relationshipville.....damn GPS's, good for nothing......

Soooo....here I stand at Point A, so kids, HERE WE GO AGAIN. Are all of you ready to go on another adventure with me? Ready to face the gauntlet of dating with me yet again? Well too bad, cause we are going!!

This time ill try not to put on anymore of that friend perfume that I must have been wearing for the last 3 months and remember to re-read "How to put off the Aura of Girlfriend" guide again.
And damn it, next time could you guys give me the heads up that I'm being too friend-like to these guys!

~*Much Love My Bloggers*~

Will and Testament

2011-02-19T17:46:00.000-08:00

Today I regretfully present the Last Will and Testament for a one said Jina Williams heart.

With the passing on of said heart, it leaves behind to proceed it Jina Williams Brain. From here on out all actions of emotion will be lead by rationale thought and rationale choices, no longer led by carefree will and heartfelt misguiding.

With the passing of said heart, we close the door to the game of finding love and the door open to reality. Clouded judgement will be a thing of the pass and calculated decision making will be implemented.

The passing of Jina's Heart was quite unexpected to many but it had lost its will to fight any longer, repetitive onslaughts had weakened its state and at last was put to ill-repair.

We will all miss and remember the days when the heart was ever present. The days when we could look back when the heart guided Jina through the gauntlet called love and life. Jina's heart had been a fighter for much longer than it should have been. In the final hours of Jina's hearts life it had come to the realization that it could fight no more, the void and emptiness of the world around it left it a shell of the former state it had been. Jina's heart had a painful yet silent death.

The Estate of Jina William's will be the sole property of Jina's Brain and all assets.

Dog days of...spring?

2011-02-16T17:53:00.000-08:00

I have found that the longer I live in Topeka, the more things I find.

So the yesterday I decided to go for a drive, I was given an address by one of my co-workers for a park made for dogs. The Bark Park to be exact, how cute is that?

well I was able to find it without incident, even though I wont lie, its not very close to my apartment.

This park is definetely worth the trip.

Saydee has been locked in this apartment for too long and when she got to the park it showed.

Well after she was mauled by the pittbull.....YEA!

Now i have no problems with pittbulls, they are actually one of my favorite breeds. HOWEVER what i do have problems with are dumb people who cant restrain their damn dogs. Saydee and I didnt even make it two seconds into the park before she was mauled. She ran around screaming for dear life while I am trying to defend her from a 70lb pittbull, at that moment i really didnt care if I got bit.

After the pittbull was restrained, we were actually able to enjoy ourselves. Saydee did really well, she enjoyed the large pack and she ran her little heart out.

we stayed out there for 2 hours and it was nice to have some really good conversation with some great people. Funny how dogs can bring people together, its almost like talking about your kids.

I guess Saydee is like my kid.

Ive now made it a point to make sure Saydee gets to the Bark Park everyday that is physically possible. She has become a whole new dog, she isnt destructive, and doent make a mess of the apartment, its great!

I say yes to the Bark Park!

~**Much Love Bloggers**~

Why I blog

2011-02-15T17:06:00.000-08:00

I'll be honest, I am proud of my blog.
I blog with complete honesty and my feelings at the time of the Blog.
Its my matter of perspective and it helps me unleash or unload my feelings in typed words when I wouldn't normally be able to say the quite so well.
About a year ago, if someone would have said, "Jen, your going to become an avid blogger", I would have giggled in their face and moved on with my life. However now, I feel so off when I don't. To harbor all those feelings inside and not let them out is....so unnatural now.
My blog is public, anyone has access to it and I don't mind that all. I want people to see it, and I mean everyone. If I didn't want anyone in particular to read, i wouldn't post it. However, I don't want to spawn any bad feelings from my blog to anyone either. I blog about everything and everyone that happens in my life because I feel I have a story to tell. And who doesn't like a good story right?
I'm not malicious, never have been, but if anyone knows me, they know I'm honest...almost to a fault. I am an emotion driven creature....for God sake, I'm a woman.

I wont make apologies or excuses, that's not the kind of person I am. I wont cover up my feelings because they make me the very person I am.
All I can do is wake up everyday and try to be a better person than I was the day before.
Ive always said "the people who matter don't mind, and the people who mind don't matter"

So thank you to those of you who accept me as I am, my faults in all, whether it be by blog or in person.
And know that my blogging will go on, as it always has, funny, quirky and sarcastically as I can make it.

~**Much Love my Bloggers**~

Valentines Day Part 2

2011-02-14T18:17:00.000-08:00

ok kids, this is part 2 of my Valentines Day Extravaganza....or something like that

So today is the actual real Valetines day and i am really going to try hard to not ramble through this blog.
As we know from part 1, things are muddle and puddle for me.
today only made it all that more clearer for me.
Saturday in KC made me realize alot of things. I found myself back into a pattern that I dont like that I am getting on. As we all know, Ive been seeing D now for the last almost 2 months now. I was so stoked to be able to spend this weekend with him. I guess in the far corners of my mind, I was hoping upon hope that it would be the catalyst to making him realize that we should be together. But, hey why would a guy want commitment to muddy up an already sweet deal right? (what am I talking about you wonder?) well heck, what guy would want to attach commitment to a situation that works out so well in his favor. You've got girl who is into you, you can have fun together, your getting the sex but you have none of the commitment that is required when your her boyfriend....exactly, what guy would complicate that???
So there in lies the dilemma, I am jumping right back into the crazy cycle i just so desperatly tried to escape from another guy. I am not so sure how this all keeps happening to me. But like Keri Hilson said "girls we cant be mad at anyone but ourselves, sometimes us women tolerate too damn much".
ANYWAY
So today is Valentines Day and i struggled all day to not have that whole Bahumbug attitude, but by 2:30-3:00 I was pretty much there.
I was close to the end of my shift, when a maintenance guy stopped by my desk. He brought me a large brown box and pointed to the name on the box and asked " Is this you?" and i promptly stated yes, he said " good, ive got two others just like it, ill be back". Three boxes...what the freak.
after my call, ill cut the box open, only to reveal a LARGE fluffy stuff teddy bear. Moments later the maintenance man came as promised with two equally large boxes.
With my supervisors permission i logged off my computer and cut into the other boxes. What was revealed blew my mind away. two dozen lavender long stem roses, two silver vases, purple sequin hearts and notes that said " I send a kiss inside the petals of each rose.." and "you take my breath away..today and everyday"....OMG. i could have cried, however everyone who knows me knows im not much for crying in public.
Now right now, I wont reveal who they came from because its really not the point, however the point was in the pudding... This gesture this valentines day wasnt about what was sent, it was what the message said to me.
It said to me: Jina, you were worth my time and my effort. you were worth something to me. I see you and the amazing woman you are and I acknowlegdge it. After putting everyone else first above yourself, I put you first.

This valentines day made me realize one of many things. You cant buy love nor can you force it. Sometimes you have to stumble your way through it. But never lose yourself in the process.

I am more than I give myself credit for, or what others give me credit for. And I am now going to get off that cycle.
I hate how much my emotions tend to complicate things, but I cant be that girl that doesnt care. How does someone become a person with no strings attached....how do I get there?
I want to wake up and just stop feeling....maybe its better that way.......
Maybe for once ill stop feeling for people who dont feel back

~**Much Love my Bloggers**~

Valentines Day (the Weekend) part 1

2011-02-14T17:41:00.000-08:00

Normally I would be what most people would call a Valentines Day Scrooge. For most single people this holiday is the proverbial kiss of death. HOWEVER, this Valentines Day I got the privilege of not being a Nay-Sayer to this dreaded holiday and actually got to partake in some lovey dovey festivities.
Now be forewarned, this is a two part blog and.....all that glitters is not gold!

So since this year Valentines Day just so happens to fall on a Monday, which like most people doesn't work out so well since most hard working Americans work Monday-Friday.
Instead this year, for most, Valentines Day was celebrated on Saturday or Sunday.

This year, because i have been casually dating, I got to spend the weekend with one of my daters...that makes me sound so horrible and like a floozy, but meh...fuck it. (yea i used floozy...my grandma would be proud).

We planned a night in Kansas City that would include dining out and gambling (though I'm not a fan of gambling....its the devils playground).
I got the hotel very cheap due to a gift card I had been saving and cheap hotels always freak me out, HOWEVER we must have hit the hotel jackpot because this hotel ROCKED!
Starbucks and bar built right into the lobby...someone knew me all too well!
The rooms looked like something out of a design magazine, it was just awesome.

After settling in, we met up with D's best friend and wife. (first of, lets just establish that I am not, NOT D's girlfriend, but i still get to meet his best friend and wife.....hmmm) They were super nice and I liked them right away. After MUCH..way too much deliberation we finally decided on which casino to go to and where to have dinner (keep in mind it wasn't the casino i was dying to go to and we had to plan to go to all along, but HEY i can compromise). We got to the casino and it was GORGEOUS, Ameristar, you are amazing. We had dinner at a typical sports bar, the drink special was delish. After me settling into my buzz, D and I got into a stirring conversation with a couple, and would ya know it, the guy was Priest Holmes Trainer at some point....MMMHMMMM riiiiggghhht guy. He was highly intoxicated and smelled oddly of piss (and D made it a point to point out the guys fly was undone, UNCOMFORTABLE, especially since the guy told me i was beautiful and asked for my #, while D talked to his wife!!!!).
Finally we made it to the casino. Ill just say, i probably would have been better off drinking the night away at the bar. I ended up parked in front of a slot machine, while everyone else scampered off into oblivion.
by midnight...I found myself in a drunken induced sleep state, contacts shot from all the cigarette smoke, and half falling asleep on a railing while watching people play craps...waiting...and waiting...and waiting. By 130 am, I was finally rejoined by my group that were "ready" to go. KNOW WHEN I WAS READY!!!??? 2HRS PREVIOUSLY.
however in my time in waiting i had plenty of time think, but ill save that for part 2!.

We left the casino and headed back to the hotel where I promptly did not fall asleep, though ill leave all the details out, I did get much sleep (and no its not because of what y'all nasty minds are thinking for) because the bed just didn't do it for me, 4 hours of sleep is about what I got.

I wont lie, the weekend wasn't a total bust, however, I must have just set my expectations way to high. I was thinking about this unbelievably romantic weekend, the kind that you could come home bragging to your friends about....but it left me more confused then ever.
Nothing is ever easy my bloggers

~**Much Love, Bloggers**~

I Look to You

2011-02-08T04:44:00.001-08:00

Hello February

2011-02-06T07:24:00.001-08:00

So January is offically OUTTA HERE, and so we begin with February.

I always tend to struggle at the beginning of a new year because I think too hard about the year to come. All the things I want to accomplish and how to do it in the measly 12 months I have to do it in. 12 months may seem like a long time but in essence...its not.

Even as we sit today we have exactly 321 days, 14 hours, 32 minutes, 48 sec, 47, 46, 45...till Christmas. Dang! should I make my list already....le sigh.

But let me stop and because try as we might to grasp the magnitude of all the responsibilities that lie ahead for the new year, we cant help but stop and think...man are we lucky to be blessed to see another year.

This new year, I am going to try and stop worrying about what needs to get done in the future and just worry about what I need to get done today, because tomorrow, for sure, is never garunteed.

I am happy knowing that in 2 hours I need to make a sandwich, fold laundry and possibly take the dog out because Ill beat her if she pee's on my floor. Ill worry about the rest later :)

**~Much Love my bloggers~**

Day 30 Blog Fest

2011-01-31T18:42:00.000-08:00

Day 30: a picture of yourself this day and 5 good things that happened since you started the challenge

1) I was able to share a little bit of myself with the rest of the world

2) I moved to another Town

3) I learned alot about myself

4) Got the Best dog in the world!

5) Found that there more important things than work, like going home and seeing my family

Day 29 Blog Fest

2011-01-30T15:28:00.000-08:00

Day 29: 3 Wishes

I am sure when people post a blog for this it would be full of worldy items, I am sure money, cars and homes would be high the 3 wishes list. But for me, my wishes are just a little different.

Wish #1 To be Stress Free

This would be a hard wish to grant, but to live stress free would be amazing. To wake up everyday, free to think of whatever came to mind and not all those troubling stresses that normally come rushing to mind

Wish #2) Prince Charming

Ok, so this is a completely selfish wish right here, but I cant help but want what I am sure every other girl wants, The Perfect Man. My wish would be first that he exsists and that he would be mine. Le sigh, a girl can dream cant she?

Wish #3) Peace of MindThis is sorta like my first wish, but its more along the lines of finding Peace within myself, to be ok with myself and life. I find myself being restless on way to many occassion. My mom would say its because im a busy body, and maybe thats true, but I just want a little...Peace.

Day 28 Blog Fest

2011-01-28T15:59:00.000-08:00

Day 28: Something that Stresses you out

To be honest, there are many things that stress me out. Money, work, life, Boys (when are they not) But i honestly would have to say I am my worse stressor. I worry about...everything, most things are out of my hands to be honest, but I worry about them anyway.
So with that I ask God:

Grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change
Change the things I can
and the Knowledge to know the difference...Amen

Day 27 Blog Fest

2011-01-28T15:54:00.000-08:00

Day 27: An Original Picture of the city you live in

TOPEKA, KS

Day 26 Blog Fest

2011-01-28T15:34:00.000-08:00

Day 26: Your Dream wedding

I think every girl knows exactly what their dream wedding would be like. Me being in the wedding business, ive just about seen them all. But I have my visions of gradeur as well.

I see my dream wedding day in the fall, when the leaves are starting fall, with rich colors of red and oranges, some brown.

It would slight cool, but not uncomfortable, there would be pumpkins as accent pieces random placed about. There would be laterns hanging from trees to provide candle light and luminaries lighting paths to guide my guests. the Smell of apple cider would come from the fountains to ready pour for my guests. and my 3 tier cheesecake wedding cake would taunt people from all over, decoracted in candied fall leaves.

yes i see my gorgeous fall wedding in my head, and I know one day ill get the prince charming that matches my perfect day!

Day 25 Blog Fest

2011-01-27T04:05:00.001-08:00

Day 25: Put your Ipod on Shuffle, List the first 10 Songs

1) Al Green- Lets Stay Together
2) Keri Hilson- Breaking Point
3) R. Kelly- Radio Message
4) Paramore- Hallelujah
5) Zapp and Roger- I Want to be your Man
6) Maxwell- This womans Work
7) Blackstreet- Before I let you go
8) The Script- For the First time
9) Be ready for the world- Love you Down
10) Wiz Kahlifa- Black and Yellow

Day 24 Blog Fest

2011-01-25T07:05:00.000-08:00

Day 24: something you've learned

Day 23 Blog Fest

2011-01-23T06:51:00.000-08:00

Day 23: Your Favorite Movie

For some reason it feels like we did this one already...but oook. So my ALL TIME favorite movie ever (though this decision was very hard to make) would be :

Under the Tuscan Sun

This movie was such an eye opener for me, I discovered this movie right after I got divorced. It saved me. I could relate so much with the character Diane Lane played, it felt like me in so many ways. One of the quotes from the movie felt so true at the time

"Do you know the most surprising thing about divorce? It doesn't actually kill you. Like a bullet to the heart or a head-on car wreck. It should. When someone you've promised to cherish till death do you part says "I never loved you," it should kill you instantly. You shouldn't have to wake up day after day after that, trying to understand how in the world you didn't know."

Thats exactly how I felt. Its a moving story and surprisingly the best friend relationship in the movie feels just like the one I have in real life. I love this movie and everything about it. actually, now that we are talking about it....Im off to watch it. And I will leave you with my two favorite quotes from the movie.

"Regrets are a waste of time. They're the past crippling you in the present. "

" Never lose your childish innocence. It's the most important thing."

Day 22 Blog Fest

2011-01-23T06:44:00.000-08:00

Day 22: Whats in your purse

To be honest, I believe that my purse who have a caution label on it and if it did it would say

CAUTION: the contents of this bag could save the earth!!!

I have a plethora of fantastic goodies in my purse. A lady must always be prepared for every situation. The menagerie that is my purse will always be a mystery to everyone until there is a time when you need something because more than likely I have it in my purse or I have something like it.
A woman should never be judged by the contents of her purse!!!

Day 21 Blog Fest

2011-01-23T06:33:00.001-08:00

Day 21: Favorite Picture of yourself of ALL TIME and why?

I wont lie, I have tons and tons of pics of myself, call me a narcasist but who doesnt like a good picture of themselves? I guess its because for the longest time, I didnt have good pics of myself because I wasnt happy with the way I looked. But now I have accepted myself (as much as I a going to) for the person I am and the looks God graced me with. Ill wake everyday with this same face and so...I embrace it.

So here it is, my all time favorite picture of myself

So the reason I love this picture so much is because it was before I had lost weight, I never knew back then how pretty I actually was, but the picture brought out alot of my asian side and I truly was very happy that day...funny how that was right before I got divorced. It reminds of a time when things were so much more simpler...when I "thought" I knew who I was, it reminds of the person that I am glad of who I am today!

Day 20 Blog Fest

2011-01-23T06:22:00.000-08:00

Day 20: Nick Names

OH MAN IS THIS A LOADED BLOG OR WHAT

I have had the misfortune of being blessed with a name that can mulitple ridiculous nicknames that go with it. Id like to think its my parents cruel way of destining me to a life of ridicule! THANKS MOM AND DAD

So here they are, my nicknames: Jen, Jimmy Jina, Manjina, Va-jina (thanks John), Jinatalia, Jay

Arent they great?

Day 19 Blog Fest

2011-01-19T17:17:00.000-08:00

Day 19: Something You Miss

moving away has caused me to very aware of the things that I cherish the most in life. As much as I love the new found freedom, I miss some of the most important things back at home.

Something I miss the most is......

My besties

Day 18 Blog Fest

2011-01-19T17:12:00.000-08:00

Day 18: Favorite Place to Eat

I wont life...I sure do love good eats, however the one place I went to that really captured my food loving heart was PF Changs. From first bite I was in love, from the lettuce wraps to the Lo Mein....its all so damn delicous, this is to you Chang!!

Day 17 Blog Fest

2011-01-19T17:07:00.000-08:00

Day 17: Something you're looking forward to

(INSERT ROCKY THEME HERE)

I am offically in training, i'll be doing stretching, bladder control and tolerance. FOR WHAT? you ask.....the 33 annual Fake St. Patricks Day in Aggieville, Manhattan, KS.

Im not much of a drinker however this is the one time a year I lose my mind...I mean I go out and hit the town. I am hope this year ill have all my besties in tow!!

On my Own

2011-01-17T15:32:00.000-08:00

The moments that I think that maybe
Could this be a big mistake?
Have I made the wrong decision?
Is this the right rode to take?
I could have had a night to fight,
Or go to School just like my parents wanted,
But now I’m feeling so alive,
I found the sun shine Ive always wanted

And I feel the fire burning deep with in my soul,
Struggling for protection,
When I reach you, let me know!
And I feel I need some guidance,
And my heart wont let it show,
And although the road is frightening

I’m gonna make it on my own!

Working late to earn my keeping,
Cause no one is gonna pay my way,
The night is cold I should be sleeping,
But I’m waiting for my morning train.
And I do this till I reach my goal
Because no one is gonna do it for me,
And the night is young, but time is old,
And I’m gonna do this till I reach my glory.

And I feel the fire burning deeper in my soul,
Struggling for protection,
When I reach you, let me know!
And I feel I need some guidance,
And my heart will let it show,
And althought the road is frightening

I’m gonna make it on my own!

Cause I’m losing friends and gaining foes,
What tomorrow’s bringing, no one is sure,
And if our failure leads…
I did it on,
I did it on my own!

Day 16 Blog Fest

2011-01-16T19:31:00.000-08:00

Day 16: Dream House

I think that at some point in our lives we dream of the perfect house, that house that contains everything we have ever wanted to be able to call a place home.

I have always had it pictured perfectly what my dream home looked like. One day I will own this amazing home. It will be nestled nicely on the Rocky Mountains, quiet and serene. Me and my 4 wheel drive SUV and my Show quality line of Boxers. yea...thats the dream kids.

So here they are, pics of my dream home

Day 15 Blog Fest

2011-01-15T06:45:00.000-08:00

Day 15 Blog Fest: Bible Verse

its been a toss up between two, So I will share them both

"For we walk by Faith, Not by Sight" 2 Corinthians 5:7

"Faith is being sure of what we Hope for and Certain of what we do not See" Heb 11:1

Day 14 Blog Fest

2011-01-15T06:40:00.001-08:00

Day 14: A picture of you last yer-how you have changed

To be honest, you probably wont see any huge changes from last year to this year. Physcially I am pretty much the same.

Mentally though...thats a whole other beast right there!

Day 13 Blog Fest

2011-01-13T17:41:00.000-08:00

Day 13: Goals

My goals, wow, this one was unexpected and unfortunately not one blog I was looking forward to having to type. What can I say, my goals are minimal at best right now. I had recently achieved on my goals and that was to take the leap and get out of Salina. Escape the blackhole of a town that had been holding me for so many years. I guess I can check that off my list, if i had a list of things...But with all honesty I can say that I dont have one.

To be completely honest with you all, my plan is very simple. To just live and let God direct my path. I find it kind of useless to plan ahead for a future that is so uncertain. I thank God everyday just to let me wake up every morning, because as we all know that is something that can end at every moment. Do I have hopes of things that I will eventually accomplish? Sure. However right now, I am just focusing on the here and now. The everyday is hard enough for me than to add addition headaches to my life trying to worry about where I am going to be 10 years from now.

The world is for the taking kids and I am just enjoying it one day at a time, because thats all I am granted from God. One day at a time.

So I am going to enjoy good food, good company and let the chips fall where they may. Ill try to achieve what I can and try not to stress on what I havent....Life is waaaay to short for all that!

Life's a Beach and then you Die :) lol

Day 12 Blog Fest

2011-01-13T17:34:00.000-08:00

Day 12: Something you do not leave the house without

plain and simple...my cell phone

I truly believe that if I left my phone at home I would self destruct!.....I am serious, my body would go into a core meltdown (DANGER DANGER WILL ROBINSON DANGER) (MAN YOUR BATTLESTATIONS) and all systems would shut down and I am pretty sure that I would go into a coma, a no cellphone having induced coma.

Its sad how much we depend on your eletronic devices but I can truly say that I LOVE MY CELLPHONE!

Day 11 Blog Fest

2011-01-13T17:15:00.000-08:00

(my apologies on being a few days behind)

Day 11: favorite tv shows

The one thing I have missed the most about living back at home is cable. I know it should be quality time with my parents or home cooked meals...but damn it I am one worldly loving biotch and how I missed reality tv, HGTV and E!. With all that said, here are my top 3 favorite tv shows.

1) Glee!!! * call me a loser if you want, but this has to be one of the best shows on TV. How can I even begin to describe the musical ridiculousness that is this show? Its amazing...plain and simple.

2) Grey's Anatomy *this show has everything: love, sex, drama, blood, sex...oh wait, didnt I say that already...No matter. Its gots the goods to deliver some great tv!

3) Spartacus:Blood and Sand * ok so besides the fact that we are only in season 1 and our lead actor got cancer...ALL OF THAT aside, this show is one action, blood, gore, sexfest....and THAT my dear sir makes for amazing television!

High Maintenance

2011-01-10T18:00:00.001-08:00

I have come to the realization that maybe I might be a glutten for punishment. I might have bitten off more than I can chew, but I like how I can reach more people.
I have started managing another blog but it is the identical twin of this one.
NO I AM NOT CHEATING ON BLOGSPOT....I have jut decided to share the love so I genetically duplicated this blog into another.....its like the red headed step sister to this blog....so there ya go, we are originals here...YAY!

So when you all get the chance, take a peeky mcpeek at the new sister blog and if your mobile feel free to follow me, www.jinyinthecity.wordpress.com.

much Love and SMOOCHES!

Day 10 Blog Fest

2011-01-10T17:34:00.000-08:00

Day 10: Something your afraid of

Boy am I going to get shit for this blog but here it goes. I have the most ludicris fear any one person should have, but they are mine and I will own it.

One of my most major fears is of Latex balloons (dont laugh!! ok if it was me I would laugh), I am not sure why but everything about them scares the whoha out of me. I mean true fear, sweaty palms, twitching, the whole bit. I think its the possibility that they could pop at any moment, the the unexpected. The loud popping....everything. Funny is if they are foil balloons I am just fine.

So there you have it, one of my glorious fears.

Day 9 Blog Fest

2011-01-09T17:15:00.000-08:00

Day 9: Favorite Picture of your Best friend

This blog was hard, because there are just soooooooo many pictures and picking one is hard. I have a few best friends, HOWEVER only one BEST BEST friend.....and this is my favorite picture of her. Love you Kat!

Venturing

2011-01-08T22:55:00.000-08:00

This weekend was the first official weekend where I did not make the trek back home to Salina.
For the last 3 weekends I had been going for holidays or visiting family. It was pretty nice not having to make the drive, because if any of you have made the drive from Topeka to Salina, it is a fairly uneventful drive; actually coma inducing to be honest.

However with all that being said, Ive found this weekend to be a struggle. One of the benefits of going home is going to a place that is familiar and is filled with familiar people. In layman's terms, it had something for me to do. But here, everything is new, and unfamiliar, all new territory and foreign. I haven't been here long enough to really establish friends (sans for Daniel) and I haven't found a place I truly enjoy hanging out at yet (if you don't count my apartment itself), so filling this weekend with things to do has become some what of a challenge. So ill give you a break down of how my Saturday went.

My original plan had been to drive about, get the LAY OF THE LAND so's to speak and see if I could stumble upon some new photography sites. I figured with being in a much bigger city there would be many places to find. However I was detoured by my hunger (addiction) for shopping.I have already scouted our mall here and it is great, however I wanted to find a place that had little boutiques (boutiques are where they hide the rare gem of items). So I went to the next best place, Lawrence, KS, good ole trusty Mass Street.
Let me tell you one solid fact about Mass Street on a Saturday...Parking is a bitch and i mean a B.I.T.C.H, pardon my french but I'm just sayin......
once I was able to find a parking spot, 16miles away, I hiked back to ole Mass Street and started my browsing.
First Destination-the Gap, i cant say that I am a total fan of the GAP because as we all know, or me at least, is that the GAP is an over priced semi higher quality version of OLD NAVY. YEA I SAID IT!, and we all know it, but we buy in to the retail hypocrisy and thus assist in the chain of retail ridiculousness. ...I'm ranting I know, back to the topic at hand. And for you all who know me, my retail senses kicked in and I found the one thing I am always able to find...Underwear....yes kids I am a pantie-o-holic. they were an additional 50% from the clearance price. that's 3 pairs of underwear for $4.00, shear madness. OK enough of reveling in my pantie purchase (SICKOS)

So after leaving the Gap I cruised through the rest of Mass Street and found another gem of a store, Keiu's, such a cute place. The best thing about this boutique was that they had shoes and boots for very cheap that were stylish, from London heels to knee high boots priced at $25.00 per pair, that's like getting shoes at Payless. I tried a few pair on but didn't bring any home (big surprise even for me). I ended up buying a cute little black knitted beanie cap for $7.00 it is adorable.

By this point I was pretty much starving, Mass Street has a plethora of restaurants to eat at, but my only set back in that was that I did not want to go to a sit down restaurant to eat alone...its so creeperish. So as I was walking I noticed an basement restaurant Pizzeria that offered pizza by the slice. Well that sounded doable, I thought; something I could just take on the go. So I ordered Sausage pizza. This pizza...This Pizza........oh man, let me get a hold of myself real quick, This pizza was amazing, it was crusty, but soft, cheesy and hearty. The sausage was thick and the sauce wasn't too acidic...lets just flat out, it was one of the best pizza slices I have ever had! If i remember the Pizzeria was called Paul's...maybe, shows how much i was paying attention to the name, the Pizza itself had me captivated! (I'm thinking they slipped crack into it, that's why it was so good!)

All in all the day was a good day. I finished the day out by watching the first season of Glee and then went to Daniels to watch a movie.
I am glad this day went good because it proved to me that I could do this, living in Topeka without using going home as a buffer.

Day 8 Blog Fest

2011-01-08T17:40:00.000-08:00

Day 8 of the Blog Fest: A place you've traveled to I would have to say that traveling has to be one of my most favorite things to do. Its funny because I think everyone has the same passion, who doesnt want to see new things, taste new foods and experiencing new cultures. I wish I could be one of those people that could say that some of the places I have traveled were Italy, Spain, Greece, but I alas have not yet been so blessed (one days kids, one day).

However I have been to quite a few places and different countries though I can honestly say the place I am going to list today is a place not to far from where I currently live now.

Manitou Springs, Colorado, its a gorgeous little town nestled close to the Rocky Mountains in Colorado. Never have I ever been to sleepy little town with so much to see. In it you find quaint little shops and friendly people. One thing I will not forget about Manitou Springs was the old classic Carousel mid town and the old arcade....just too cute. And I can say that I had the best deli sandwich ever at a little local German Resturant. Any time I travel into Colorado though, I feel like I am home. It is my dream state to live in, One day guys, one day. Hats off to you Manitou Springs, you are a hidden gem.

Day 7 Blog Fest

2011-01-07T19:45:00.000-08:00

Day 7: Favorite Movies

This blog could go on forever because I have so many favorite but Ill keep it simple with my top 3

Arthur: Clive Owen and Kira Knightley....must I say anything else

The Notebook: what freakin girl doesnt love this movie!!!?

Love and Basketball: the Ultimate Love story!!!

Day 6 Blog Fest

2011-01-07T19:36:00.000-08:00

Day 6: A picture of something that makes you happy

Sorry I couldnt just post one pic because these two both light up my life

Day 5 Blog Fest

2011-01-07T19:30:00.000-08:00

Day 5: A song to match your mood

Tamia So Into You lyrics

Lyrics

Day 4 Blog fest

2011-01-07T19:22:00.000-08:00

Day 4: Your Parents

My parents. LOL the people my life would never be the same without. They are definetely blog worthy, but what does someone say about two people who mean so much.

Are there words that can acuratly describe how much the most important people mean.

My parents never fail to amaze me on how devoted they are, not just to us kids but to each other. Even when my dad is being a complete pain in the ass, my mom takes it with a grain of salt. And when my mom gets flustered with my dad, he just simply kisses her on the cheek and laughs at her and the whole world is right again.

These two people are the reason my world is so right, they keep me centered and they are my confidants... LoVe YOu Mom and DAd

Day 3 Blog Fest

2011-01-07T19:16:00.000-08:00

Day 3: Your First Love

My first love, boy now theres a memory if ever there was one.

Its simple, she was gorgeous.......yea I said she

Her brown eyes, so full of innocence and love. She was unforgettable, the moment we were together we were unseperable. Ill never forget her, 1o years of absolute joy and love.

Smokey my first dog....my first love. She will never ever be forgotten

Day 2 Blog Fest

2011-01-07T19:14:00.001-08:00

Day 2:The meaning behind your blog name

I just recently changed my blog name to the Capitol City chronicles, but ironically I dont really live in that big of a city. I guess for me its big enough and thats all that matters.
I just recently moved to the Cap city of Kansas and everyday has become an adventure, most times its to keep from getting capped in the ass or not to accidentally venture into the ghetto. But its an adventure all in the same.
I think its a well suited blog name and a long time coming!

Blog Challenge

2011-01-07T19:01:00.000-08:00

guess I am going to join the band wagon, YEA I MIGHT BE A LITTLE, why dont you sue me....actually dont, because for some reason I have a feeling it could actually work.....

So here we go, DAY 1 Blog

Day 1: Introduce, recent picture of yourself, 15 interesting facts

If you dont know already, Im Jina Price....your typical 27 year old kansas living little big city girl lol....I live a life most would call ordinary, but for me, it works.

15 interesting facts

1) I hate escalators....I mean phobia hate, sweaty palms and all

2) I am scared of latex balloons (its as retarded as it sounds)

3) I am good at photography, but if it came down to it i'd rather be in pictures than take them

4) I cry at all weddings. yea im a baby

5) I am OBSESSIVE about dogs

6) I am very undecided on children, I am not exactly sure if I want them or not

7) I absolutely hate my self-righteous way of being sometimes

8) I have recently come to love running, it is amazing how clear my mind becomes when I do it

9) Incense make me want to punch a baby....they serve no bloody purpose but to make you look like a pothead

10) I like things color coordinated, matchy matchy, I dont like to mix things up

11) Ferrero Rochers can make me do just about anything

12) Gummy Bears make me happy, but they can only be Haribo Gummy Bears

13) Im a depressive, some times my emotions are an absolute roller coaster

14) I worry.......ALOT

15) there is only one person in this world that understands me....and I worry that she will die...ALOT

Hold Your Head High

2011-01-01T23:53:00.000-08:00

I traveled far along with you
We walked the world and together grew
It will be strange being without you

You gave me strength and helped me grow
But now it's time to be on my own
I hope you know this was difficult

A part of you is a part of me and will always be

So hold your head high
It's so hard to say, "Goodbye"
I just have to take this chance
I hope you understand

We'll go on our separate ways
It may be hard but I'm not afraid
I think it's good life makes us change

So don't be sad
The best is yet to come
But until it does

Just hold your head high
It's so hard to say, "Goodbye"
I just have to take this chance
I hope you understand

I won't forget those times
I won't forget those feelings
So don't forget I'm going to see you again

Too Soon...?

2011-01-01T23:24:00.001-08:00

So the question of the day is "When is the right time to blog about someone your dating?"

Ive been holding off on this blog for the last week and half now and feel its time now that I post it.

I have been dating someone (and I mean dating, as in more than one date, dating) and I really like him!!

There, I said it, it is out there and I feel now I can sleep better with all of you knowing it. Its like the air is clear, this weight has been lifted. PINK ELEPHANT OUT OF THE ROOM NOW!!

I guess I have been sort of battling with what would be the right time to actually post a blog about him. I didnt want to shoot the gun too early and post a blog after the first date, even though that went really well, so I decided that after a week of consistent dating I would finally post the offical blog.

I'm really surprised how well we have taken to each other and it feels like we have known each other forever. We goof around and share the same quirky sense of humor. We avidly watch movies on the regular and he is my habitual diet breaker....le sigh!

I cant help but be a little optomistic but right now all we are doing is taking it one date at a time.

No commitments and no obligations, and to be honest thats really all I have time for right now.

I have really made it a point to concentrate on my career right now with my main job and really try to get my photography business off the ground here in Topeka.

HOWEVER, i will not lie that I do enjoy the perks of having DANIEL around. He helped me mount my TV to the stand and carry the stand up the stairs, I have a snuggle buddy on those cold nights, and its so great to hold someones hand through the stores.....awwww warm and fuzzies.

Putting all my eggs in one basket wont be happening just yet, but its nice to just hop on the ride and see where this takes me. I am still actively going on other dates as well, but this one definetly seems like a keeper!

I love The Script

2010-12-30T23:18:00.000-08:00

The Script - For The First Time lyrics



She's all laid up in bed with a broken heart,

While I'm drinking jack all alone in my local bar,

And we don't know how,

How we got in to this mad situation,

Only doing things out frustration,

Trying to make it work but man these times are hard,



She needs me now but I can't seem to find a time,

I've got a new job now on the unemployment line,

And we don't know how,

How we got into this mess is a gods test,

Someone help us cause we're doing our best,

Trying to make it work but man these times are hard



But we're gonna start by

Drinking old cheap bottles of wine,

Sit talking up all night,

Saying things we haven't for a while

A while ya

We're smiling but we're close to tears,

Even after all these years,

We just now got the feeling that we're meeting for the first time



Oooooo



She's in line at the dole

With her head held high

While I just lost my job

I didn't lose my pride

But we both know how,

How we're gonna make it work when it hurts,

When you pick yourself up,

You get kicked to the dirt,

Trying to make it work but,

Man these times are hard,



But we're gonna start by,

Drinking old cheap bottles of wine,

Sit talking up all night,

Doing things we haven't for a while,

A while ya,

We're smiling but we're close to tears,

Even after all these years,

We just now got the feeling that we're meeting for the first time.



Oooooo


Yeah...

Drinking old cheap bottles of wine,

Sit talking up all night,

Saying thing we haven't for a while,

We're smiling but we're close to tears,

Even after all these years,

We just now got the feeling that we're meeting, for the first time

Christmas Time

2010-12-25T05:20:00.000-08:00

"Have yourself a Merry little Christmas..."

We all know what time of year it is, and if you dont the radio will be the first one to remind you!

All the classic Christmas songs are blaring on every station and in every store.

As annoying as this time of year can be, in some ways I cant help but love it!

Yes by the end of the seaon we will feel tapped out dollar wise, but I think we fail to remember what truly is important ( and no Its definetely not that new IPOD touch we've been craving).

As we sit in a room full of people ripping presents open, we truly need to look around and remember that these moments may not last forever with the same people. Time passes by and people grow older, some pass away. We have to cherish every moment we have with the people we hold so dear.

I can honestly say that I am so blessed to have such an amazing family to share Christmas with but I can also say that my family is fully aware of what comes first on this day. Jesus Christ and the people in the room. We hold dear what is important and let go of what isnt.

I am thankful that I get to see another Christmas and I am thankful that this year has brought, FOR THE MOST PART, good things. God is sooo good and He continues to bless us everyday.

I hope that all of you out there can have an amazing Christmas and may 2011 bring more than we could have every wished for.

Let us all strive to be better in 2011

Childlike Innocence

2010-12-24T17:14:00.000-08:00

In life you have to remember never lose your child-like innocence...

My niece and nephew never let me forget how great it is to be a kid.

Since it was Christmas we were able to bring Jaelyn and Tyson home for the weekend to celebrate Christmas. the amount of fun we had I cant even explain....so I wont, ILL JUST SHOW YOU PICTURES!!!

I love being aunt Jeny to my beloved Niece, its so crazy to love someone so much!

This is my gorgeous Nephew Tyson and our adopted family Anutsuwa, this was also Anutsuwa's last weekend, she moved to Texas to start school. LE SIGH how she will be missed.

The kids felt it necessary to open all the gifts together....or maybe just Jaelyn, Tyson liked the boxes and wrapping more than the gifts themselves

All in all th weekend was awesome and makes me so grateful to have such amazing kids in the family

The Big City

2010-12-18T09:37:00.000-08:00

At last here I am posting about living in the big city. Sorry it took me so long to finally do this, it has been a full week, but I wanted to get settled in and things have been really since finally arriving. I am actually sitting in my parents home back in salina typing this, its so odd to say that I come home to do things.
Living alone has to be one of lifes great luxuries, the peacefulness is amazing and I truly enjoy it. It does get a little lonely but I wouldnt trade it for the world. Its an awesome feeling to say that its MY apartment.

Now on to my work situation, Now that is a beast all in itself, the campus is huge! its like a college campus really. We have our own gym and cafeteria (which I will not bring myself to eat at yet because if the food tastes half as good as it smells ill be as big as a house in no time.
It took me a little time to warm up to my coworkers but they all seem awesome and I am excited to really get to know them.
People have asked, "have you ventured around the city" and to be honest, I have really had the time, though I did go to Bed bath and Beyond and kohls the other day....thats me being brave!

Its so odd having to take the highway to get places now and the time it takes to do anything is amazing. it took me an hour the other day to get lunch, due to traffic and the drive across town.

All in all I love the city and ill keep you all posted in my adventures!

Tying the loose ends

2010-12-07T18:16:00.000-08:00

*plopping to floor with one said exasperated sigh*

Evening my fellow bloggers, As i type this blog i come from a place of sheer exhaustion and stress. It has been a long last two weeks, this big move to Topeka has done me in for sure. I guess when taking on this project I had no idea how much actual work it would be. Silly me I forgot that I dont participate in a real life version of star trek where I can teleport all my worldly good to another location....as nice as that concept does sound (ill add that to my list of "to do" items and get on creating that).

I am offically 4 days away from the big move and I am filled with many many emotions. Fear, happiness, excitement, fear...oh wait I said that already. But all in all I am just hoping for things to go smoothly, no hiccups. I think things have fallen into place so well that I am afraid that SOMETHING, just something has to go wrong. I need to stop jinxing myself, I know but fear has that way of playing games with my head.

So as I continue on with the packing, preping and all the other fun things that go wtih this move, I hope you all keep me in your prayers for a safe move and Ill keep you all updated

When we trust ourselves

2010-11-21T07:22:00.000-08:00

"Sometimes to be strong, You have to stand alone"

For some reason this quote has become my mantra. I am finding so much strength in myself instead of relying on others to help me.

recently I made the decision to presue photography on my own. I had a fall out with a friend I did photography with for over 5 years. It was a business I helped build and I left it with clean hands.

With that said though, I missed being able to express my talent and my love of the digital arts.

So I made the bold step to do photography on my own. JinyP Photography was born LOL

so today I am displaying some of my recent work. Pride and joy fills me posting these pics and I hope you guys enjoy them as much as I do.

Peace and Love my fellow Bloggers

My decisions

2010-11-21T07:11:00.000-08:00

I know, I know, its been a few moments since I have posted a blog, but this time it stands in good reason. No, I havent left my kindle...sorry my bloggers me and Kindle are still strong.

The reason I have been M.I.A. is because I have been preparing and planning for a move.

I made the defining decision to make a transfer to another town.

December 10th I will be relocating to the Capitol City of Topeka, KS. no more small town living for me, I will be moving to a bigger city all on my lonesome.

How so much changes in such a short time right!?

It was a very drastic last minute decision, but i knew it was time for a change and what time is better than the present right?

So in my time away I have put my deposit down on my apartment, purchased SOOO many items for my place and put in for my transfers at both my jobs. Now....its a waiting game, packing and planning, Uhaul reserving frenzy.

Ill post more as the days get closer, but its been an exciting last week or so and I am hoping to document my trip right here on blogger.

Just a little FYI* once i get to Topeka it might be a hot second before I have internet, but I will get it up as soon as I can.

PEACE and LOVE my bloggers

Because sometimes plans change

2010-11-10T17:49:00.000-08:00

So from here on out I have decided to not ever PLAN vacations, because its quite obvious things never work out the way I want them to.

From the way I am starting this blog its quite obvious the trip to Baltimore I have been planning is not going to be happening.

Now before any of you jump down my throat about me not going to visit my family that I have not seen in 10 years, hear me out on why I am not going.

So for the last 72 hours I have been battling back and forth with my family on the details of my arrival which should have been taken care of a month ago.

I sent my itnerary via email to my uncle that I was supposed to be staying with for the duration of my trip, he was also to be the one to pick my up from the airport in Baltimore.

24hours later I receive an email back that says:

"call me, we will be gone the week your coming in"

So of course I go into freak mode, because if he will be gone that week...where am I going to stay? and Who is picking me up?

Immediatly i text my aunt and try to get an understanding about what is going on. The text back I get from her is:

"Dont worry I will pick you up"

Ok...........so during breakfest the next morning my parent and I decide to call my aunt to try and understand why she was now my pick up.

So during my conversation with my aunt I learn the following:

1) I was now being picked up by aunt and staying in Philly

and

2) my uncle (who knew for at least two months that I was coming) never told his wife that I was coming, or anyone else for that matter, and she booked a trip to St. Croix for the her and him.

needless to say this all was shocking and disturbing at the same time. But my aunt eased my concerns and assured me that she would come get me and all would be well.

so with my mind rested I continued with my plans for thanksgiving in now Philedelphia.

The next day...

I arrive at work and check my email:

Aunt: "hey can you switch your flight to come into philly"

Me: "ill look into it"

After an irritating call to southwest airlines...no flights to philly....

later that day at work the next email from my aunt:

"the airport in baltimore can be really crazy. when you come in, we might just have you take a train and ride from baltimore to philly, ill help pay for the ticket"

WHAT THE HELL!!!? at this point I have no idea what to think. there is no way in heck that I am going to be flying for 4 hours then arrive, AT NIGHT, to baltimore airport, get off with all my luggage and then catch a train from baltimore to philly for another hour-hour and half.....

this whole situation has become so ridiculous that I am just at a point where I am tired and I havent even left yet.

I thought maybe i was being irrational but after explaining what was happening to my parent....my moms exact words:

"Yea your not going"

So ends the tale of me and my trip to baltimore

now I sit with a credit to southwest airlines.

KC plans for thanksgiving, sounds like lighting of the plaza and black friday shopping with my family....

I can say that I am sad that I am not going, but I am glad that the stress I have been under is lifted. Vacations should be that...a vacation, not stressors..

SIGH OF RELIEF

There's No Place Like Home......

2010-11-05T22:42:00.000-07:00

" There's No place like Home, There's No place like home....."

As cliche as this might sound (being as I am from Kansas), Judy Garland couldnt have been more right when speaking those words. There truly is no place like home.

In less then 20 days I will be making the trek across the country to the East Coast to visit my blood relatives ( I havent seen them in over 10 years, last time I was there it was for my uncle marks funeral, he killed himself), the family that is actually supposed to be the closest people to me.

Initially, when buying my ticket I was overjoyed to be able to finally see them after so long. My uncles and aunt who, as instilled in me, should be people who played a fundamental part in my life.

As the weeks have passed I cant help but feel more and more.......saddened by going. (as I am typing this, yes I am crying). The people I am going to see....in essence, are strangers, though the same blood flows through them as is does me.

The faces I should know by heart, I will barely recognize. I dread stepping off the plane and feeling a sense of loss. Though my body will be in Baltimore....my heart will be in Kansas.

I am brought to tears knowing that I will miss Thanksgiving with the family I have come to know and love. Ill miss my uncle Charles giving me hell as I walk through their KC home (as is tradition we go to my Uncle Charles and Aunt Deanne's home for Dinner) and his all to familiar laugh that always brings a smile to my face. Ill miss my cousins Chloe and J'den running around being silly preteens and fighting over the usual things that preteens fight about (which is anything).

Ill miss my cousin Micah and me sitting in a large chair together by the fire laughing at the newest boy gossip we have as our stomachs growl waiting for dinner to finish.

Though these people are only my family by marriage...they are the family I have come to know and love so very much. They are the reason I love this time of season and look forward to it every year. The thought of not being part of that this year fills me with so much saddness that even though I havent left yet, I'm filled with homesickness.

I feel such a heavy guilt that my own blood born family do not get the same respect of my excited emotions of seeing them as the people who have no blood ties to me do. I feel almost as if...I have betrayed them, like a traitor.

This holiday season I will truly feel conflicted and cannot wait for it to be over. I never thought I would feel this way when I finally made the decision to go back and see my family and hope that it is something I can deal with before it is time for me to leave.

Home truly is where you heart is...................

Unfaithful

2010-11-02T16:18:00.000-07:00

"Oh baby you....you've got what I need........" (in my very heavy Biz Markie Voice)

So I am a low down dirty dog of the worst sort. I have been unfaithful and theres no way in heck that I have even been trying to hide it. I know I should be ashamed but...sadly I am not.

I have been cheating on my laptop, thats right Dell.....you are no longer #1 in my life.

Recently I have had a new man come into my life that has literally swept me off my digital feet.

I....I never knew I would fall so hard but....he does what you didnt my laptop lover.

his name??? ok, ok, Ill tell you all. His name is...Kindle. Just the sweet sound of his name brings digital chills to my very bones. How he speaks the language of love to my heart. He shows me things I could have only dreamed of.

LOL ok so I know I have been M.I.A for the last few weeks, but I have an excuse. I DIDNT SAY IT WAS A GOOD ONE! I just have one.

Recently I made the decision to order the one thing I had been foaming at the mouth to get...literally foaming at the mouth. ( yea its not a cute look for me)

My beloved kindle was but a click away via http://www.amazon.com/ .

So I ordered the one thing Ive been dying to have.

You would not believe the elation I felt when I received a text from my mother that the Kindle had arrived. I sped (literally break laws of motion) to get my coveted prize.

Had I known then, what I know now, perhaps I would have thought twice at purchasing this digital wonder.

But it was too late, I enter a world, I am scarily feeling that I may never return from.

I have actually read 5 whole books in the last 4 days....scary but very true. My kindle had opened a world ( that was actually already accessable to me) that I never recognized before.

It has been a addiction I now find hard to break....

do you think it will be the new craze/......the new drug of choice??

instead of people running around ashy and white mouthed screaming "I WANT CRACK!" they will shout, neck scratching and all "I WANT KINDLE!!"....

or perhaps it will just be me

do you all think there is kindle rehab?

On the Amends....

2010-11-02T15:39:00.000-07:00

So I have to apologize to all my faithful blog readers out there....all 9 of you (well I guess there could be more, just non-followers...FOR SHAME!!).

I had made the pledge to be an avid blogger and the last few weeks I have been slacking....and for that I am sorry.

I should be flogged. I AM A WRETCH...I AM A CURR!! BROTHER NOOMSI CAN YOU EVER FORGIVE ME!!!? (ok for those of you who have no idea what refrence that was...watch The Golden Child....HILARIOUS!)

but on the real, I have been lacking in my blog post and not for less on what has been happening in my life. So for reals I apologize and promise not to keep you guys in the dark on my so called life again.

I cant always promise that something bizarre might come up (ie. ebola virus or mad cow monkey disease) but I truly will try to stay diligent on keeping you all posted on my crazy little escapades and my funny happenings. Cause we all know, I's one funny Cooka!

Love you all! and thank you for partaking in the little sliver of blogging joy I have!

My Movie Fave Pick of the Week

2010-10-22T22:30:00.000-07:00

I am an avid movie watcher and have so many movies I truly love watching and could watch again and again. So every week or so I will share a few of my fave's maybe one of you will pick one watch it and it become one of your faves as well

This weeks pick: Pan's Labyrinth

Set in 1940's Spain against the postwar repression of Franco's Spain, a fairy tale that centers around Ofelia, a lonely dreamy child living with her mother and adoptive father who is a military office tasked with "ridding the area" of military rebels. In her loneliness, Ofelia creates a world with fantastical creatures and secret destinies. With facisim at its height, Ofelia must come to terms with with her world through a fable of her own creation.

This movie has everything a good movie plot line should have. Strong characters, suspense, moral value and an edge of your seat drama that will stun anyone, it is an A+ must see!

A BATTLE OF EPIC PORPORTIONS

2010-10-22T21:57:00.000-07:00

The battle has been raging for three days and both sides are exhausted. The battlefield Jina is wrenched with ooze and fluids, barely recognizable to the peaceful serenity it used to be.

The enemy Bacterius Fluis refuses to back down, but the Army Immune System remains relentless in their fight in the typical battle of good versus evil.

The war wages on, however Battlefield Jina is soon to be won, the Army Immune system has gained an strong ally; Dayquil and Nyquil have come from surrounding countries to aid in this rescue mission. Bacterius Fluis does not stand a chance....

As I have so colorfully portrayed above, I am currently suffering from what most people would call the common cold, but I would like to call this ailment "Kill me please", because thats exactly how I feel! Like hot delicious death and I feel someone should drag me to an open pasture and put me out of my misery. Now you all know that I am a drama queen...and when I am sick its heightned by 600!

And the kicker to this whole situation is that literally 24 hrs before I got my coveted FLU SHOT, i got sick. and you bet your yang I still got that shot. Do I believe I have the flu? negative, but because the internet tells me I dont, please reference link below to know the difference between the flu and the cold

http://www.flufacts.com/about/cold.aspx

Now A days you can pretty much self diagnose anything, I am not paying a copay for NOTHING!
If arms or legs are not falling off, Ill self diagnose, THANK YOU!
I am just going to tough out this funky bug until I am better. Until then its chicken soup, blankies, and whining...

A haircut away....

2010-10-17T16:41:00.000-07:00

Recently I made the decision to cut my hair. I've never been a big fan of short hair but because I have a "round" face it works for me and my face shape. Before I made the decision to cut my hair, I had been dead set on growing it out. When I was a kid my mom made it a point to make my hair grow as long as possible, I had a pony tail that reached the middle of my back. But as I have gotten older I have decided that short hair is not only more managable, but also more flattering. I guess you can say I look...grown...or something like that.

I cut off a grand total of 2 inches off, I figured if I was going to cut it, I wanted it to be noticable. After I cut off my hair, dried my locks and applied all necessary product to keep it from doing its crazy magic trick...afro, I just stared in the mirror analyzing the reflection staring back at me.

If anyone knows me, I am fairly confident person, sure of myself and my convictions. But like anyone else, I also have my insecurities as well. If you didnt know, I recently have lost over 27lbs and for anyone who has lost any kind of significant amount of weight, its a hard adaption to letting go of the person you used to be.

Staring into that mirror I saw myself so differently. Recently I also go grey contacts so seeing my image its like looking at a whole new person. To be honest, did I like what I saw? Yes, I guess you can say that I did, but it was like truly seeing myself for the first time. Realizing, that even without the weight and the contacts and the cute haircut...I was me, and I liked what I saw.

Self acceptance is a hard learned emotion, but for once I got a sweet taste of it. For once I could look in the mirror and say "jina, you truly are beautiful", not in that narcasistic way, but in the way where for once I could walk outside and be happy with how I was, the world be damned.

I am not perfect, never claimed to be, but even if I was, How boring would that be?

God Bless Guys!

Confessions of a shopaholic

2010-10-14T17:54:00.000-07:00

They say that admitting that you have a problem is the first step...now, I am not going to put all my business on front street, but perhaaaaaps....I might have a slight problem.

ALRIGHT ALRIGHT DAMN IT, I have an addiction.

(standing up)

Hi my name is Jina Price and I have a shopping problem.

There! I said it! HAPPY?? HAPPY???

ok ok let me call down.

So as I am sitting here staring at my old navy, dillards, kohls and target bag, I realize that Yes, I do have some shopping issues. But its not like I am buying that I dont need!!!

I mean come on, who doesnt need a Jessica Simpson travel carry on? or So suede boots. Its winter time and they will be very useful.

I think we all have our little vices and shopping just happens to be mine.

I wish I could explain the feeling I get when I find just the right bargain, its like a rush...a High.

Its my little pleasure in life that perhaps I indulge in a little too often.

So today I make the pledge to calm down on my shopping endeavors...to keep from buying more than can fit into my closet and No i do not need 30 pairs of shoes

After I order this stuff from Gap.com

I pledge this!

You Light up my Life

2010-10-07T04:40:00.001-07:00

Rolling over in my comfy bed, I rub my sleepy eyes. Yawn and stretch....another start to another day, as I lay there and ponder the new days happenings an amazing revelation comes to me. I have something very great to look forward to! I get to see the new love of my life today...HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY!!!

I have to tell you about my new love, I cant say enough really! He's simply.....amazing, yes amazing thats the world I will use. He is sweet as can be with a very soft side, He can always put me in a place where I find utter elation. When I feeling that bubbly feeling in the bottom of my tummy, he can always ease that feeling, he has those mystical powers. I would have to say he truly is the highlight of my day.

Who could this mystery man be, you ask? Oh Ill show him to you!

Introducing the new man in my Life:

(drum roll inserted here)

NUTELLA.........Yea....had you fooled didnt I?
Though he may not see much to you, he is EVERYTHING to me!

This miracle spread made from the nectar of the Gods has been a heaven send straight to my hazelnut chocolate loving heart.

If you didnt know, I am going to tell you, Ferrero Rochers just happen to be my most favoritest candy in ALL the world. (if you have never had one, your dead to me!....kidding..not really). And from the makers of Ferrero comes this amazing spread that I, personally, like to accompany with a nice piece of soft honey wheat bread makes my mornings heaven.

I literally look forward to going to work to have my Nutella and bread (yea its little things for me ok!), nothing can make me right again.

I had heard about Nutella through commercials (personally it looked like jarred dog shit) and it never looked all that appealing to me. BUT do not let appearance fool you, this spread is a gold mine of tastiness. Also after reading a fellow bloggers blog of the delicious Nutella(http://jamiejenson.blogspot.com/2010/10/soundtrack-for-my-love.html ), I was sold, I went to wal-mart and snagged my jar...I have been devoted ever since.

Nutella, You had me at Hello!

Waiting on Prince Charming

2010-10-03T17:31:00.000-07:00

I'll sit in my darkened room, silently upon my bed

I'll lay against my pillows while those thoughts cross through my head

Will you come across the yard and throw a stone up at my window?

or will you send flowers to my work with a letter that just says "hello"?

Prince Charming will you rescue me from the loneliness I feel

Ive waited for you for quite some time and Im wondering, are you real?

Im beginning to think that Love is just a story that they tell

A fictional dream they tell little girls, a fable just a myth.

Save me Prince Charming, on your horse white and strong

Cause I've waited, yes Ive waited and its been very long

Ill curl into my comfy bed and I'll dream of you tonight

tears drop fall upon my pillow, even though holding back with all my might.

Prince charming, you dont exsist for me tonight.

Fire Pits and Family

2010-10-01T21:09:00.000-07:00

Nothing screams the oncoming of Autumn like one of my Aunt Rachels famous backyard Firepits and tonight was no exception to that rule!

Whenever the weather gets just right it gives us the reason to Cozy up to my Aunt Rachels large metal firepit and bring out the hotdogs and smores.

Tonight was just a touch different, my Grandfather, bless his little elderly soul, decided to spice things up by making a big heaping pot of Gumbo to go with our firepit. It was a glorious sight to be hold for sure. Someone topped it all of by bring Jalapeno Cornbread, amazing is all I can say about the food.

Not only though is the good, but the company, these amazing firepit nights would never been as special if I didnt have the family to go with it. We have fanstatic debates on current topics, we giggle about past memories, or just sit around and make poke fun at those who just happen to become a target. Its all innocent harmless fun.

Its so heartwarming to know that I have such an amazing family who can do the littlest things but it becomes such a bonding event. I am truly blessed and my family is one of my biggest blessings.

I brought my friend Anthony with me and I was so glad he was able to mesh so well with everyone. Of course I got the never ending boyfriend probing questions and I could only reassure them that I have not yet reached the point of desperation that would draw me to date a 20 year old. But in all seriousness he, like every other person I have allowed to accompany me to a family function, was overwhelmed at how big and close we all our. Its our dynamic, the glue that holds us all together, when times get tough, our bong gets tougher. Not everyone has what we have and we never fail to forget that.

One Large Metal Firepit=$300.00
Lawnchairs=19.99 each
family sized Nathan brand Hot Dogs=10.99
Loving family and friends around a fire=priceless

Home Invaders Part Deux

2010-10-01T20:48:00.000-07:00

Though I dont normally post Part Deux, I feel this blog deserved to bear the same title. So on to the blog....

After a particularly rough day at work and gym, I did a little grocery shopping. I came home and while innocently unpacking my grocery, I was startled to find that I was not alone. Actually I was scared pissless....yes thats the depiction i would like to use, scared pissless...(and for those of you who know me...scared pissless is something that rarely ever happens). I looked up to find a pre-pubescent man child standing in front of me, watching me unpack my store bought delights.

remarkably my only response was "....uuuh, hey little guy, you lost?", YEA good response right?

the response back I got was "Mr. Price (my father) wanted me to tell you that he is in the basement, and Hi!"

Lets all keep in mind, A) I still have no idea who this person is B) why would I care where my dad is at???

Before I could get any questions out to this lil/big person, he scurried back down to one said basement.

After unpacking all my wears, my curiosity go the best of me, so I decided to investigate.

Once entering our Den, I found my father, mother and one said man child all parked on the couches....HOW COZY.

Then it all came to me who this child was and hence why my parents were home. Then I got the warm and fuzzies (ill explain the warm and fuzzies).

I joined my family and decided to watch the movie it seemed that they were all hunkering down to watch (just as a side note, Clash of the Titans is an ok movie, but the original is much better).

So to explain the warm and fuzzies, the man/child (i call him this because his 13, no quite a child and not yet a man) we will call him charlie*, is a student of a local school here that is a military school, some children are sent there due to behavioral issues or some would call it a boarding school. whatever the case maybe, my father just happens to be one of the sponsers there. He brought Charlie* home because my parents are sponsor parents and they feel they can be positive influences on his life, which is amazing. My parents never fail to amaze me!

I think there arent enough people out there trying to make a difference in kids lives and thank God my parents are one of them. I'd like to think of Charlie* as my newly adoptive brother.

At one point of the night, I was razzing my dad, which happens on a regular basis, I mentioned to Charlie* that I am the favorite so I can get away with that. Charlie* looks at me, then at my dad and mom and says "well now I am the favorite"..........Sadly I had to beat him, and shake him down, reminding him to know his place and that NOONE is the favorite but me!

LOL just kidding....not really

*names have been changed due to personal information

The Endless Sea of Racks and the New beaten Path

2010-09-29T04:19:00.000-07:00

Racks and Racks as far as the eye can see...the Merchandise sea is a rough one today, its been a vigorous shopping day and much work needs to be done. The damage is severe and as Captain I must guide my team in damage control.

From T rack to rack we attack like soldiers, righting what was wronged. We are soldiers in an endless war.....

I have never said that I wasnt a drama queen, nor have I ever said that I didnt have an active imagination, but all kidding aside, the sitaution may have been a dramatization, but the events are still the same.

Recently, I started my second job in retail, though I have worked retail before, it never fails to amaze me how draining it can be. Just last evening me and my team of two spent 3 1/2 hours working on half the store that was demolished after a shopping day.

I am absolutely astonished about the absolute disregard for store merchandise by shoppers. "Didnt your mama teach you any damn manners!" dont touch the crap if your not going to buy it and if its not your size, find the one you want and just take that, dont flip the whole stack to find your size, YOU DAMN HEATHEN!

ok, ok, my bout of anger is over....kinda

But even in this jumbled up mess I never forget my end goal, this endless work is a means to end. As I continue to build up my hours I also build up my green, money that is, which brings me close to a Uhaul that brings me closer to pulling out of this black hole of town and on to the next chapter in my life. There is a method to the madness.

Putting on a happy face and sucking up this endless drivel will not last forever and I have to keep my head at where my goal is.

God never fails to amaze me how good he is and how he has blessed me with this oppurtunity and I will not yet look a gift horse in the face!

I am blessed and highly favored an will not let this go to waste.

Keep your heads up and heart to God!

Dreams make Life Tolerable

2010-09-25T21:48:00.000-07:00

Life has a this tendency to become...predictable. It is so easy for people to become complacent and comfortable in life. Getting wrapped up into mediocrity.

At some point in time we all had dreams to be something, do something, see something, somehow so many people lose track of that. They get sucked into the day to day, the routine of life that they forget the hopes and dreams they once coveted.

How is it that when we are young its so easy to dream big dreams, and hope big hopes, but as years pass by we begin to think them impossible.

Having dreams is what makes life tolerable...I heard this quote on TV and just couldnt believe how much it rang true.

I realize more than ever now, how much I want to go out and chase the dreams that I know will awaken me from this life in slumber.

For those of you who know me, I have recently taken on a second job (hence the delay in blog, i apologize). Why? because, i feel that I have this uncontrollable drive to get out.......get out of this sleepy town, see the world and experience the things that at one point in my life i promised myself I would do. November I start my first trek and that is going to Baltimore for a week. after that....that plan is semi unclear but as the gears in my head turn, i feel myself being pulled to do that things that at one point time were the driving force of my life.

I refuse to let fear hold me back any longer....tomorrow is never promised and we have to live for today, and I for one am going to begin living!

better late then never!

Home Invaders

2010-09-20T16:14:00.000-07:00

Nothing ruins the quiet serenity of small town suburbia then the consistent droning of HOME INVADERS.

To our must utmost dismay our home has now become a dwelling for winged spawn of Satan!

Imagine for a moment will you? Your pulling on your garden gloves, pushing the good ole lawn cutter and are coasting along to a perfectly cut lawn. When all of a sudden, the skies turn gray, and a ominous cloud surrounds you, Pain ripples through a section of your back. You spin searching for the source when POW!!! your hit in the neck, then the leg, then the thigh. You run, but there is no escape, your hit two more time in the buttocks. You trip over a lawn gnome and get tangled in the garden hose, Oh Jesus your disabled and vulnerable. Then...then you look into the face of your attacker! He's small, beady eyed and stripped. a wasp...no not A wasp, a HORDE of wasps...your a goner.

OK OK, so this is a dramatization of actual events, names and dates have been changed to protect the innocent...or something like that

But needless to say we have had some unwanted visitors.

I unfornatly got to meet these "special guests" today.

As I came home from work and innocently was walking toward the front door. I was so close to the "safe zone" when all of sudden I noticed something flying around me, actually two somethings, wait...no three...WTF, i was being swarmed. All of a sudden my conversation with my mother about the wasps came rushing back to me. My fight or flight instinct instantly kicked in. (I am not much of a fighter, Im a lover actually...wink wink....) and I sprinted for the door, In my blind terror I was none to graceful in my escape.

I scrambled for the door and in the process got my foot caught,, I fell through the front door, with skin missing from my shin and fell over my toy poodle....

It wasnt a pretty sight and im pretty sure my shin looks like lunch meat...yea I have braved to look at it.

After this evenings "festivities" I am 110% sure that bugs are on a mission to take out the human race one bumbling idiot at a time.

What these winged hellions arent aware of is that they will soon be homeless and possible wingless when I am done, AHHAHAHAHHHAHAHHHEHEHHEHEHAHHHAHHAHA....

Blood, Sweat and....Ok maybe not blood, but sweat for sure

2010-09-16T18:30:00.000-07:00

So I wouldnt actually come out and say that I am health nut. I am definetely not a "salad eating chick" for sure. But if any of you know me, which most dont so....yea anyway, You will know that for the last 8mnths I have been working hard at becoming healthy.

I believe in everyone's life they go through a self realization that maybe its time to change themselves for the better. Well I can say that kind of happend for me, however my self realizating moment happend in a doctors office. Doc says "Jen, either lose weight or be diabetic"...hmmmm I think ill go with the lose weight, please and thank you.

So began my "battle" of the bulge.

Its been a uphill battle all the way, but I can say that I am very proud of the results. With a combo of Kickboxing, Zumba and Weight training,to date, I have dropped 4 pant sizes and over 27lbs. I cant say I am anywhere close to my end goal weight, but I am Leaps and Bounds away from hypertension and diabetes.

I realize now that God only gives you one life to live and how you live it is up to you.

LIVE HEALTHY, LIVE HAPPY!

Sometimes We can pretend...can't we?

2010-09-13T13:56:00.000-07:00

To say this weekend was an eye opener is an understatement....

I decided to visit my cousin Micah at college, which isnt anything out of the ordinary, she told me about a frat party she wanted me to attend with her. A dance party to be exact.

I had some general reservations about it because A) its a frat party B) am I WAY to old to be going to a frat party?

I felt like if I went would this age alert go off as soon as I walked through the door. Like campus police would come and drag me out. Or at the door would the ask for my ID and say "geez grandma, why dont you go back to the nursing home!".

LOL I know I can be such a drama queen, but thats exactly how I felt.

I actually made it a point to shop for an outfit that would make me look like i was "hip".

HOW SAD IS THAT!!!?

So I finally decide to go, pack for a weekend of the unexpected.

Thinking that I have successfully put together just the right outfit.....................

We hyped ourselves up all day for this party, the excitment was sooo high for it.

My nerves were on edge the whole time getting ready!

Finally it was time to go to the party...i think my palms were actually sweating.

I just kept my head up and turned up my "pretty girl swag" LMAO and strutted my happy ass in there. Just kept on like I was supposed to be there.

Turned out, I really didnt have much to worry about. The party was poppin for sure!

The Sigmas did the party right, with a great DJ leadin the way we all stepped and dropped it like it was hot...(I sound like a retard just typing this) lol

But by 2 am, reality hit me, MAYBE just MAYBE I AM tooo old for this.

I parked my happy ass in a chair because i was exhausted.

my abs hurt and my feet were out of my heels with a quickness.

How did these kids make it till 4am???

All I could think about was bed and my pajamas....I even had someone come up and ask "What? cant hang?"....LAME!!!

Eventually we made it back to the dorm, I climbed the ladder to crawl into the dorm bed that i'd be spending the night in. I thought I would immediatly pass out into a exhaustion induced coma...but sleep didnt come instantly.

Laying in that bed thoughts came crashing on me. Laying in that dorm bed it made realize how much this was the life i missed out on. So many years ago, i could have had these same experiences. College was a big regret for me in life, I had the oppurtunity to go and I chose not to. I know in life you should never have regrets, but this was mine.

I feel like this void in my life was because of the stupid decisions I had made.

Laying in that bed also made me realize though, that try as we might, we can grasp and reach for the things we SHOULD have done or WOULD have had, but why not look at what we DO have and HAVE done. I can live life in regret, or I can live life in the now.

Ill go with that. Ill leave the college memories for my cousin to share with me when she comes home for holidays. and I live my adult life not trying to be 22 to again, but Im 27 now!

Enchiladas and Touchdowns

2010-09-10T16:48:00.000-07:00

There are just nights that I would call complete bliss.

Last night would have been one of them. I can say that it was amazing and relaxing.

This is how the night went.

First thing was I got out of the gym came home, and soaked in a hot shower (AMAZING!!!)

I truly feel that nothing sets you right again then a hot shower.

Next was my super comfy scotty dog JAMMY pants (yea i said jammy).

I then proceeded to help my mother make home made chicken enchiladas. With my amazing enchilada rolling skills, they came out amazing. I dont really know what my mom meant when she called them a "hot mess" but im assuming she was marveling at my fantastic technique!!!

After baking our ENCH's for 20 minutes, my mom, dad and I call hunkered down for some BOOB TUBE. and by boob tube I mean, the NEW ORLEANS SAINTS vs the vikings (puke) game.

There are the times I am going to miss when i do finally move away, I love my parents so much and we are so very close. These little moments are what I live for.

All in all the night was awesome and I would trade it for anything!

Quote of the Day

2010-09-08T18:56:00.000-07:00

"A Bird doesn't sing Because it has an Answer, It sings because it has a Song"

Free at last, Lord, Sweet Lord, I'm Free at last

2010-09-08T18:18:00.000-07:00

I have finally been released from my prison, set free from the chains of bondage......the rein of terror is over!!!!

Am I dramatic??.....never

I have finally escaped the torture of Cookie Hell.....

Now I can already see the looks on all of your blog reading faces. The eyebrow crooked high,WTF look, yea I know it well.

But none of you have any idea what kind of trauma I've been through....I'm not sure I will recover.
For the last 48 hours I have almost set myself into a cookie induced coma.

How did this happen? let me explain.

It all started with one school related fundraiser and one HENIOUS bucket of chocolate chip cookie dough.
Sounds innocent enough right!?? WRONG! your all DEAD wrong.

Two Dozens delicously prefabricated cookies later, I was one cookie jar short of death.
I've never been much of a sweets eater. I'm more of a fried chicken and hot sauce kinda girl (keep the damn stereotypes to yourself).
But one single trip to the cookie jar sealed my fate.

once i took a bite of that deliciously, sweet, savory, buttery, chocolatey deliciousness..I was lost. How does a cookie baked 48hrs ago stay so soft and moist, yet have a slight crispness to it?

How do cookies taste like heaven encompassed into this amazing little morsel.

There was no stopping me, believe me I tried, but what was the use in fighting an urge that couldnt be controlled.

One empty cookie jar later.....I paid the price...slowly dipping in and out of cookie conciousness....I am not sure if I remembered the hospital trip, nor do I remember them pumping my stomach....all i remember was chocolate chip after taste.......

ok ok.....so I never went to the hospital, nor did I go into a coma. BUT I did eat 30+ cookies.
Am I proud??? no, but am I satisfied? YOU BET YOUR ASS!!!!

Quote of the Day

2010-09-07T17:28:00.000-07:00

"Sometimes You have to Stand alone to Prove you can Still Stand"

Fork in the Road

2010-09-07T16:25:00.000-07:00

At some point in time, we all have to make hard, and possibly scary decisions in life. I personally feel that's what keeps you feeling alive.
I am at that point right now now, I am a fork in the road of life, at the Crux of life change decision, I am standing at the precipice (ahhahahahah i love that word) of change......

I have to decide to move or not to move....(yea sorry this couldn't have been more exciting, BUT it is for me) DON'T YOU JUDGE ME!!

I have juggled with this decision for quite a while now. To stay or to go. You would think it would be an easy enough decision, but its one I cant help but battle with.

I've come to point where this sleepy little town holds nothing for me, yet the thought of living in a town that is completely new, excites and scares me.

I am now inclined to just jump both feet first into the move. I just found a room share where someone is looking for a roommate (again another scary situation) and know that I could work my job here in town and drive back and forth until i find a job in the other town.

there are so many decisions floating around in my head and to try and sort through them is....mind boggling to say the least.

Input, I need input, please my fellow bloggers.....what would you do!?

Quote of the Day

2010-09-06T08:04:00.001-07:00

"When life pushes you to
the end of your rope, Tie a knot and Hang on!"

Human Hibernation....?

2010-09-06T07:31:00.000-07:00

ZZZZZ...zzzz..ZZZZZZZ

This has been the culmination of my Labor Day weekend. Sad?.....I know!

I am not exactly sure how this happend but I cant say that I am mad that it happend. This was purely by choice. Yes, I chose to sleep my WHOLE weekend away.

It seemed like all I wanted to do is curl up in my bed, laptop in one hand, remote in the other and just...Hibernate.

It might be the change in weather, here in kansas the tempature has slowly been lowering and at nights its been 60 to 50's. Maybe my body sense's the impending fall and has now gone into hibernation mode.

I wonder if there is a study on human hibernation.........

OH LOOK I FOUND ONE!

Reaseachers ask-Can humans hibernate?

http://http//www.spiegel.de/international/spiegel/0,1518,393746,00.html

perhaps I may not be hybernating but I wont lie, this sleep thing has been good. I think all these weeks of skimping on my sleep has finally caught up to me. I wont lie, I feel rejuvinated and refreshed......to start another week of work. LAME

Oh well...its a four day work week that will lead me to another weekend of lack there of sleep, hence restarting the sleep deprevation cycle. RINSE AND REPEAT

There's always a ScapeGoat

2010-09-04T23:08:00.000-07:00

Regardless of any bad situation, there will always be a scapegoat.

Sadly in our society we are always looking for someone to blame.

where is this coming from? you ask?

I have recently been victim to becoming the dreaded scapegoat in a silly drama filled situation that I, IN NO WAY, feel like explaining because it would only lead to a incurable case of carpal tunnel and rigamortis of my fingers typing the incredibly long, incredibly ridiculous situation via blog. Just know that we are all better for it by me not typing this out and just knowing that the end result is me being the scapegoat.

Now down to the meat of this blog. How it feels to be one.

It has to be the most maddening and yet helpless feeling in the world.

Your are not only infuriated by the fact someone has dumped their emotional baggage onto you and made you out to be a villain in a situation but your now helpless to defend yourself.

Because we all know, once you try to defend yourself, it only solidifies all the erroneous things that person was saying about you.

LE SIGH...it truly is a lose, lose situation.

I find myself becoming the scapegoat in a lot of situations, which brings me to the crazy thought that is there maybe something about myself that would cause this to happen.

Of course the most human reaction would be to do a little self reflection. But I refuse, this time, to allow this to make me question the person that I am. I will not apologize for someone else's insecurities.

When it comes to situations like this, it just better to just let things blow over, assess the relationships in question and stick to my guns.

Or I can put on my big kid pants and do what every other angry, fury driven person does in the 2010 age.....hit the "unfriend" button via facebook....thats right kids get 'em where it hurts. Their facebook wall.

AHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA...im so evil....................or something like that :) Nite blog world

How cute!

2010-09-04T02:04:00.000-07:00

Yes, I am crawling into the house at 4:00am and dont any of you judge me for it!

LOL

I had a great time tonight hanging in the typical trio, Kathy, Emily and Jen. My best friends never fail to give me a reason to laugh extremely hard and forget about what a hellish week I had.

Tonight we had BLT and Soup Night, it was awesome. We brainstormed this awesome idea while jogging, which went really well by the way. We hit the store and then also made a quick stop at the liquor store so that we could pick up some "adult beverages". If any of you know me, I am a wine freak.

After cooking we all sat down for a great dinner, and then headed outside to enjoy this beautiful Kansas weather. Might as well enjoy it now, because who knows how long it will last!

About 3hrs in to us all hanging, with the addition of Michelle and Chris, I receive a call from my beloved cousin Micah. Apparently she was just a messenger for one of her guy friends who just had to pass along the message that he thought I was "cute as hell" LMAO. Which proceeded with him snatching the phone and gushing about how he thought I was "beautiful" and had an "amazing smile" (yes I'm a quotation whore).

I thought it was cute, even though this guy is 8 years younger than me, it was refreshing to hear that I wasnt "sexy" or "fucking hot", that I was just beautiful and i had a nice smile. I think those are better compliments than sexy ever will be.

I think more guys should follow this example. Sometimes girls just want to hear something different, unique, sweet and genuine.

Even though I now have a text stalker, its nice to know he is harmless and nice! I can play cougar for a while HAHHAHAHA

Night blogger world

Ready, Set, Go!!!

2010-09-03T14:33:00.000-07:00

Today is the start of my 3 day Labor Day weekend. You know, weekends like this used to mean something. I think I could remember quickly running out of double doors, back pack flopping around on my back as I scurried to my pea green Dodge Neon so I could get as far away from school as possible.

Yea....its not like that so much now....I find myself now sitting infront of this computer, typing this blog eyeballing my running shoes and the clock. At 5 oclock me and my dynamic duo are going running.......RUNNING....RUNNING NO LESS!! lol

But hey thats life, I am sure eventually we end up back home, possible alcoholic beverages, youtube funnies and endless laughter, but until then its...running!

To be honest though, I am so content with the small little things in life, I could truly have nothing, be alone. But....Im not, have awesome friends, awesome family and life is....good. I dont

have everything, but i have....enough.

I dont know what I will get into this weekend. what kind of crazy things ill blog about later, but im satisfied knowing that happiness is surely around the corner.