Fork in the Road

At some point in time, we all have to make hard, and possibly scary decisions in life. I personally feel that's what keeps you feeling alive.
I am at that point right now now, I am a fork in the road of life, at the Crux of life change decision, I am standing at the precipice (ahhahahahah i love that word) of change......

I have to decide to move or not to move....(yea sorry this couldn't have been more exciting, BUT it is for me) DON'T YOU JUDGE ME!!

I have juggled with this decision for quite a while now. To stay or to go. You would think it would be an easy enough decision, but its one I cant help but battle with.

I've come to point where this sleepy little town holds nothing for me, yet the thought of living in a town that is completely new, excites and scares me.

I am now inclined to just jump both feet first into the move. I just found a room share where someone is looking for a roommate (again another scary situation) and know that I could work my job here in town and drive back and forth until i find a job in the other town.

there are so many decisions floating around in my head and to try and sort through them is....mind boggling to say the least.

Input, I need input, please my fellow bloggers.....what would you do!?

Quote of the Day

"When life pushes you to
the end of your rope, Tie a knot and Hang on!"

Human Hibernation....?

ZZZZZ...zzzz..ZZZZZZZ

This has been the culmination of my Labor Day weekend. Sad?.....I know!

I am not exactly sure how this happend but I cant say that I am mad that it happend. This was purely by choice. Yes, I chose to sleep my WHOLE weekend away.

It seemed like all I wanted to do is curl up in my bed, laptop in one hand, remote in the other and just...Hibernate.

It might be the change in weather, here in kansas the tempature has slowly been lowering and at nights its been 60 to 50's. Maybe my body sense's the impending fall and has now gone into hibernation mode.

I wonder if there is a study on human hibernation.........

OH LOOK I FOUND ONE!

Reaseachers ask-Can humans hibernate?

http://http//www.spiegel.de/international/spiegel/0,1518,393746,00.html

perhaps I may not be hybernating but I wont lie, this sleep thing has been good. I think all these weeks of skimping on my sleep has finally caught up to me. I wont lie, I feel rejuvinated and refreshed......to start another week of work. LAME

Oh well...its a four day work week that will lead me to another weekend of lack there of sleep, hence restarting the sleep deprevation cycle. RINSE AND REPEAT

There's always a ScapeGoat

Regardless of any bad situation, there will always be a scapegoat.

Sadly in our society we are always looking for someone to blame.

where is this coming from? you ask?

I have recently been victim to becoming the dreaded scapegoat in a silly drama filled situation that I, IN NO WAY, feel like explaining because it would only lead to a incurable case of carpal tunnel and rigamortis of my fingers typing the incredibly long, incredibly ridiculous situation via blog. Just know that we are all better for it by me not typing this out and just knowing that the end result is me being the scapegoat.

Now down to the meat of this blog. How it feels to be one.

It has to be the most maddening and yet helpless feeling in the world.

Your are not only infuriated by the fact someone has dumped their emotional baggage onto you and made you out to be a villain in a situation but your now helpless to defend yourself.

Because we all know, once you try to defend yourself, it only solidifies all the erroneous things that person was saying about you.

LE SIGH...it truly is a lose, lose situation.

I find myself becoming the scapegoat in a lot of situations, which brings me to the crazy thought that is there maybe something about myself that would cause this to happen.

Of course the most human reaction would be to do a little self reflection. But I refuse, this time, to allow this to make me question the person that I am. I will not apologize for someone else's insecurities.

When it comes to situations like this, it just better to just let things blow over, assess the relationships in question and stick to my guns.

Or I can put on my big kid pants and do what every other angry, fury driven person does in the 2010 age.....hit the "unfriend" button via facebook....thats right kids get 'em where it hurts. Their facebook wall.

AHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA...im so evil....................or something like that :) Nite blog world

How cute!

Yes, I am crawling into the house at 4:00am and dont any of you judge me for it!

LOL

I had a great time tonight hanging in the typical trio, Kathy, Emily and Jen. My best friends never fail to give me a reason to laugh extremely hard and forget about what a hellish week I had.

Tonight we had BLT and Soup Night, it was awesome. We brainstormed this awesome idea while jogging, which went really well by the way. We hit the store and then also made a quick stop at the liquor store so that we could pick up some "adult beverages". If any of you know me, I am a wine freak.

After cooking we all sat down for a great dinner, and then headed outside to enjoy this beautiful Kansas weather. Might as well enjoy it now, because who knows how long it will last!

About 3hrs in to us all hanging, with the addition of Michelle and Chris, I receive a call from my beloved cousin Micah. Apparently she was just a messenger for one of her guy friends who just had to pass along the message that he thought I was "cute as hell" LMAO. Which proceeded with him snatching the phone and gushing about how he thought I was "beautiful" and had an "amazing smile" (yes I'm a quotation whore).

I thought it was cute, even though this guy is 8 years younger than me, it was refreshing to hear that I wasnt "sexy" or "fucking hot", that I was just beautiful and i had a nice smile. I think those are better compliments than sexy ever will be.

I think more guys should follow this example. Sometimes girls just want to hear something different, unique, sweet and genuine.

Even though I now have a text stalker, its nice to know he is harmless and nice! I can play cougar for a while HAHHAHAHA

Night blogger world

Ready, Set, Go!!!

Today is the start of my 3 day Labor Day weekend. You know, weekends like this used to mean something. I think I could remember quickly running out of double doors, back pack flopping around on my back as I scurried to my pea green Dodge Neon so I could get as far away from school as possible.

Yea....its not like that so much now....I find myself now sitting infront of this computer, typing this blog eyeballing my running shoes and the clock. At 5 oclock me and my dynamic duo are going running.......RUNNING....RUNNING NO LESS!! lol

But hey thats life, I am sure eventually we end up back home, possible alcoholic beverages, youtube funnies and endless laughter, but until then its...running!

To be honest though, I am so content with the small little things in life, I could truly have nothing, be alone. But....Im not, have awesome friends, awesome family and life is....good. I dont

have everything, but i have....enough.

I dont know what I will get into this weekend. what kind of crazy things ill blog about later, but im satisfied knowing that happiness is surely around the corner.

Lets Try this Again

Wow.....its been a while.

I always say that I am going to try and become a dedicated blogger, but for some reason...it never actually come to fruition. For once, I think I am finally at a point where I can actually dedicate myself to this.

I really feel that if I put my all into blogging, it really will become one of my favorite things to do....so here is my attempt at dedication.

so....my first offical dedicated blog goes a little like this........I GIVE UP ON MEN!

Thats right, I said it!........

I can already hear the pre-empt whatever's but I am SOOO serious...I hope.

I guess you can say I am at the end of my rope. For those of you who know me, and since I only have 3 followers right now, that would mean..you know me. I have been divorced for 2 years now. Wow, how time passes..............But I cant believe how much an emotional journey I have already been on. So many boys, way too much wasted time.

I understand now why women become so bitter or desperate to find "THE ONE". Because your searching for that ONE guy that isnt like the rest of these shit bricks out here. The one guy who for once will see things just a little bit differently, do things a little bit differently. Its like...finding a needle in a haystack..le sigh.

So....my action plan now...is to not have one at all. Ill throw my chips up and have them fall as they may. My hope? is to find someone who will, like me, put out what is put in.

PRINCE CHARMING...i dare you to show up.

until then, ill be waiting, living life. The door is open my friend, please come in, shut it behind you, and please....take your shoes off, i just vaccumed!