When we trust ourselves

"Sometimes to be strong, You have to stand alone"

For some reason this quote has become my mantra. I am finding so much strength in myself instead of relying on others to help me.

recently I made the decision to presue photography on my own. I had a fall out with a friend I did photography with for over 5 years. It was a business I helped build and I left it with clean hands.

With that said though, I missed being able to express my talent and my love of the digital arts.

So I made the bold step to do photography on my own. JinyP Photography was born LOL

so today I am displaying some of my recent work. Pride and joy fills me posting these pics and I hope you guys enjoy them as much as I do.

Peace and Love my fellow Bloggers

My decisions

I know, I know, its been a few moments since I have posted a blog, but this time it stands in good reason. No, I havent left my kindle...sorry my bloggers me and Kindle are still strong.

The reason I have been M.I.A. is because I have been preparing and planning for a move.

I made the defining decision to make a transfer to another town.

December 10th I will be relocating to the Capitol City of Topeka, KS. no more small town living for me, I will be moving to a bigger city all on my lonesome.

How so much changes in such a short time right!?

It was a very drastic last minute decision, but i knew it was time for a change and what time is better than the present right?

So in my time away I have put my deposit down on my apartment, purchased SOOO many items for my place and put in for my transfers at both my jobs. Now....its a waiting game, packing and planning, Uhaul reserving frenzy.

Ill post more as the days get closer, but its been an exciting last week or so and I am hoping to document my trip right here on blogger.

Just a little FYI* once i get to Topeka it might be a hot second before I have internet, but I will get it up as soon as I can.

PEACE and LOVE my bloggers

Because sometimes plans change

So from here on out I have decided to not ever PLAN vacations, because its quite obvious things never work out the way I want them to.

From the way I am starting this blog its quite obvious the trip to Baltimore I have been planning is not going to be happening.

Now before any of you jump down my throat about me not going to visit my family that I have not seen in 10 years, hear me out on why I am not going.

So for the last 72 hours I have been battling back and forth with my family on the details of my arrival which should have been taken care of a month ago.

I sent my itnerary via email to my uncle that I was supposed to be staying with for the duration of my trip, he was also to be the one to pick my up from the airport in Baltimore.

24hours later I receive an email back that says:

"call me, we will be gone the week your coming in"

So of course I go into freak mode, because if he will be gone that week...where am I going to stay? and Who is picking me up?

Immediatly i text my aunt and try to get an understanding about what is going on. The text back I get from her is:

"Dont worry I will pick you up"

Ok...........so during breakfest the next morning my parent and I decide to call my aunt to try and understand why she was now my pick up.

So during my conversation with my aunt I learn the following:

1) I was now being picked up by aunt and staying in Philly

and

2) my uncle (who knew for at least two months that I was coming) never told his wife that I was coming, or anyone else for that matter, and she booked a trip to St. Croix for the her and him.

needless to say this all was shocking and disturbing at the same time. But my aunt eased my concerns and assured me that she would come get me and all would be well.

so with my mind rested I continued with my plans for thanksgiving in now Philedelphia.

The next day...

I arrive at work and check my email:

Aunt: "hey can you switch your flight to come into philly"

Me: "ill look into it"

After an irritating call to southwest airlines...no flights to philly....

later that day at work the next email from my aunt:

"the airport in baltimore can be really crazy. when you come in, we might just have you take a train and ride from baltimore to philly, ill help pay for the ticket"

WHAT THE HELL!!!? at this point I have no idea what to think. there is no way in heck that I am going to be flying for 4 hours then arrive, AT NIGHT, to baltimore airport, get off with all my luggage and then catch a train from baltimore to philly for another hour-hour and half.....

this whole situation has become so ridiculous that I am just at a point where I am tired and I havent even left yet.

I thought maybe i was being irrational but after explaining what was happening to my parent....my moms exact words:

"Yea your not going"

So ends the tale of me and my trip to baltimore

now I sit with a credit to southwest airlines.

KC plans for thanksgiving, sounds like lighting of the plaza and black friday shopping with my family....

I can say that I am sad that I am not going, but I am glad that the stress I have been under is lifted. Vacations should be that...a vacation, not stressors..

SIGH OF RELIEF

There's No Place Like Home......

" There's No place like Home, There's No place like home....."

As cliche as this might sound (being as I am from Kansas), Judy Garland couldnt have been more right when speaking those words. There truly is no place like home.

In less then 20 days I will be making the trek across the country to the East Coast to visit my blood relatives ( I havent seen them in over 10 years, last time I was there it was for my uncle marks funeral, he killed himself), the family that is actually supposed to be the closest people to me.

Initially, when buying my ticket I was overjoyed to be able to finally see them after so long. My uncles and aunt who, as instilled in me, should be people who played a fundamental part in my life.

As the weeks have passed I cant help but feel more and more.......saddened by going. (as I am typing this, yes I am crying). The people I am going to see....in essence, are strangers, though the same blood flows through them as is does me.

The faces I should know by heart, I will barely recognize. I dread stepping off the plane and feeling a sense of loss. Though my body will be in Baltimore....my heart will be in Kansas.




I am brought to tears knowing that I will miss Thanksgiving with the family I have come to know and love. Ill miss my uncle Charles giving me hell as I walk through their KC home (as is tradition we go to my Uncle Charles and Aunt Deanne's home for Dinner) and his all to familiar laugh that always brings a smile to my face. Ill miss my cousins Chloe and J'den running around being silly preteens and fighting over the usual things that preteens fight about (which is anything).

Ill miss my cousin Micah and me sitting in a large chair together by the fire laughing at the newest boy gossip we have as our stomachs growl waiting for dinner to finish.

Though these people are only my family by marriage...they are the family I have come to know and love so very much. They are the reason I love this time of season and look forward to it every year. The thought of not being part of that this year fills me with so much saddness that even though I havent left yet, I'm filled with homesickness.


I feel such a heavy guilt that my own blood born family do not get the same respect of my excited emotions of seeing them as the people who have no blood ties to me do. I feel almost as if...I have betrayed them, like a traitor.

This holiday season I will truly feel conflicted and cannot wait for it to be over. I never thought I would feel this way when I finally made the decision to go back and see my family and hope that it is something I can deal with before it is time for me to leave.

Home truly is where you heart is...................

Unfaithful

"Oh baby you....you've got what I need........" (in my very heavy Biz Markie Voice)

So I am a low down dirty dog of the worst sort. I have been unfaithful and theres no way in heck that I have even been trying to hide it. I know I should be ashamed but...sadly I am not.

I have been cheating on my laptop, thats right Dell.....you are no longer #1 in my life.

Recently I have had a new man come into my life that has literally swept me off my digital feet.

I....I never knew I would fall so hard but....he does what you didnt my laptop lover.

his name??? ok, ok, Ill tell you all. His name is...Kindle. Just the sweet sound of his name brings digital chills to my very bones. How he speaks the language of love to my heart. He shows me things I could have only dreamed of.

LOL ok so I know I have been M.I.A for the last few weeks, but I have an excuse. I DIDNT SAY IT WAS A GOOD ONE! I just have one.

Recently I made the decision to order the one thing I had been foaming at the mouth to get...literally foaming at the mouth. ( yea its not a cute look for me)

My beloved kindle was but a click away via http://www.amazon.com/ .

So I ordered the one thing Ive been dying to have.

You would not believe the elation I felt when I received a text from my mother that the Kindle had arrived. I sped (literally break laws of motion) to get my coveted prize.

Had I known then, what I know now, perhaps I would have thought twice at purchasing this digital wonder.

But it was too late, I enter a world, I am scarily feeling that I may never return from.

I have actually read 5 whole books in the last 4 days....scary but very true. My kindle had opened a world ( that was actually already accessable to me) that I never recognized before.

It has been a addiction I now find hard to break....

do you think it will be the new craze/......the new drug of choice??

instead of people running around ashy and white mouthed screaming "I WANT CRACK!" they will shout, neck scratching and all "I WANT KINDLE!!"....

or perhaps it will just be me

do you all think there is kindle rehab?

On the Amends....

So I have to apologize to all my faithful blog readers out there....all 9 of you (well I guess there could be more, just non-followers...FOR SHAME!!).

I had made the pledge to be an avid blogger and the last few weeks I have been slacking....and for that I am sorry.

I should be flogged. I AM A WRETCH...I AM A CURR!! BROTHER NOOMSI CAN YOU EVER FORGIVE ME!!!? (ok for those of you who have no idea what refrence that was...watch The Golden Child....HILARIOUS!)

but on the real, I have been lacking in my blog post and not for less on what has been happening in my life. So for reals I apologize and promise not to keep you guys in the dark on my so called life again.

I cant always promise that something bizarre might come up (ie. ebola virus or mad cow monkey disease) but I truly will try to stay diligent on keeping you all posted on my crazy little escapades and my funny happenings. Cause we all know, I's one funny Cooka!

Love you all! and thank you for partaking in the little sliver of blogging joy I have!