Sometimes We can pretend...can't we?

To say this weekend was an eye opener is an understatement....

I decided to visit my cousin Micah at college, which isnt anything out of the ordinary, she told me about a frat party she wanted me to attend with her. A dance party to be exact.

I had some general reservations about it because A) its a frat party B) am I WAY to old to be going to a frat party?

I felt like if I went would this age alert go off as soon as I walked through the door. Like campus police would come and drag me out. Or at the door would the ask for my ID and say "geez grandma, why dont you go back to the nursing home!".

LOL I know I can be such a drama queen, but thats exactly how I felt.

I actually made it a point to shop for an outfit that would make me look like i was "hip".

HOW SAD IS THAT!!!?

So I finally decide to go, pack for a weekend of the unexpected.

Thinking that I have successfully put together just the right outfit.....................

We hyped ourselves up all day for this party, the excitment was sooo high for it.

My nerves were on edge the whole time getting ready!

Finally it was time to go to the party...i think my palms were actually sweating.

I just kept my head up and turned up my "pretty girl swag" LMAO and strutted my happy ass in there. Just kept on like I was supposed to be there.

Turned out, I really didnt have much to worry about. The party was poppin for sure!

The Sigmas did the party right, with a great DJ leadin the way we all stepped and dropped it like it was hot...(I sound like a retard just typing this) lol

But by 2 am, reality hit me, MAYBE just MAYBE I AM tooo old for this.

I parked my happy ass in a chair because i was exhausted.

my abs hurt and my feet were out of my heels with a quickness.

How did these kids make it till 4am???

All I could think about was bed and my pajamas....I even had someone come up and ask "What? cant hang?"....LAME!!!

Eventually we made it back to the dorm, I climbed the ladder to crawl into the dorm bed that i'd be spending the night in. I thought I would immediatly pass out into a exhaustion induced coma...but sleep didnt come instantly.

Laying in that bed thoughts came crashing on me. Laying in that dorm bed it made realize how much this was the life i missed out on. So many years ago, i could have had these same experiences. College was a big regret for me in life, I had the oppurtunity to go and I chose not to. I know in life you should never have regrets, but this was mine.

I feel like this void in my life was because of the stupid decisions I had made.

Laying in that bed also made me realize though, that try as we might, we can grasp and reach for the things we SHOULD have done or WOULD have had, but why not look at what we DO have and HAVE done. I can live life in regret, or I can live life in the now.

Ill go with that. Ill leave the college memories for my cousin to share with me when she comes home for holidays. and I live my adult life not trying to be 22 to again, but Im 27 now!