I love The Script

The Script - For The First Time lyrics



She's all laid up in bed with a broken heart,

While I'm drinking jack all alone in my local bar,

And we don't know how,

How we got in to this mad situation,

Only doing things out frustration,

Trying to make it work but man these times are hard,



She needs me now but I can't seem to find a time,

I've got a new job now on the unemployment line,

And we don't know how,

How we got into this mess is a gods test,

Someone help us cause we're doing our best,

Trying to make it work but man these times are hard



But we're gonna start by

Drinking old cheap bottles of wine,

Sit talking up all night,

Saying things we haven't for a while

A while ya

We're smiling but we're close to tears,

Even after all these years,

We just now got the feeling that we're meeting for the first time



Oooooo



She's in line at the dole

With her head held high

While I just lost my job

I didn't lose my pride

But we both know how,

How we're gonna make it work when it hurts,

When you pick yourself up,

You get kicked to the dirt,

Trying to make it work but,

Man these times are hard,



But we're gonna start by,

Drinking old cheap bottles of wine,

Sit talking up all night,

Doing things we haven't for a while,

A while ya,

We're smiling but we're close to tears,

Even after all these years,

We just now got the feeling that we're meeting for the first time.



Oooooo


Yeah...

Drinking old cheap bottles of wine,

Sit talking up all night,

Saying thing we haven't for a while,

We're smiling but we're close to tears,

Even after all these years,

We just now got the feeling that we're meeting, for the first time

Christmas Time

"Have yourself a Merry little Christmas..."

We all know what time of year it is, and if you dont the radio will be the first one to remind you!

All the classic Christmas songs are blaring on every station and in every store.

As annoying as this time of year can be, in some ways I cant help but love it!

Yes by the end of the seaon we will feel tapped out dollar wise, but I think we fail to remember what truly is important ( and no Its definetely not that new IPOD touch we've been craving).

As we sit in a room full of people ripping presents open, we truly need to look around and remember that these moments may not last forever with the same people. Time passes by and people grow older, some pass away. We have to cherish every moment we have with the people we hold so dear.

I can honestly say that I am so blessed to have such an amazing family to share Christmas with but I can also say that my family is fully aware of what comes first on this day. Jesus Christ and the people in the room. We hold dear what is important and let go of what isnt.

I am thankful that I get to see another Christmas and I am thankful that this year has brought, FOR THE MOST PART, good things. God is sooo good and He continues to bless us everyday.

I hope that all of you out there can have an amazing Christmas and may 2011 bring more than we could have every wished for.

Let us all strive to be better in 2011

Childlike Innocence

In life you have to remember never lose your child-like innocence...

My niece and nephew never let me forget how great it is to be a kid.

Since it was Christmas we were able to bring Jaelyn and Tyson home for the weekend to celebrate Christmas. the amount of fun we had I cant even explain....so I wont, ILL JUST SHOW YOU PICTURES!!!

I love being aunt Jeny to my beloved Niece, its so crazy to love someone so much!

This is my gorgeous Nephew Tyson and our adopted family Anutsuwa, this was also Anutsuwa's last weekend, she moved to Texas to start school. LE SIGH how she will be missed.

The kids felt it necessary to open all the gifts together....or maybe just Jaelyn, Tyson liked the boxes and wrapping more than the gifts themselves

All in all th weekend was awesome and makes me so grateful to have such amazing kids in the family

The Big City

At last here I am posting about living in the big city. Sorry it took me so long to finally do this, it has been a full week, but I wanted to get settled in and things have been really since finally arriving. I am actually sitting in my parents home back in salina typing this, its so odd to say that I come home to do things.
Living alone has to be one of lifes great luxuries, the peacefulness is amazing and I truly enjoy it. It does get a little lonely but I wouldnt trade it for the world. Its an awesome feeling to say that its MY apartment.

Now on to my work situation, Now that is a beast all in itself, the campus is huge! its like a college campus really. We have our own gym and cafeteria (which I will not bring myself to eat at yet because if the food tastes half as good as it smells ill be as big as a house in no time.
It took me a little time to warm up to my coworkers but they all seem awesome and I am excited to really get to know them.
People have asked, "have you ventured around the city" and to be honest, I have really had the time, though I did go to Bed bath and Beyond and kohls the other day....thats me being brave!

Its so odd having to take the highway to get places now and the time it takes to do anything is amazing. it took me an hour the other day to get lunch, due to traffic and the drive across town.

All in all I love the city and ill keep you all posted in my adventures!

Tying the loose ends

*plopping to floor with one said exasperated sigh*

Evening my fellow bloggers, As i type this blog i come from a place of sheer exhaustion and stress. It has been a long last two weeks, this big move to Topeka has done me in for sure. I guess when taking on this project I had no idea how much actual work it would be. Silly me I forgot that I dont participate in a real life version of star trek where I can teleport all my worldly good to another location....as nice as that concept does sound (ill add that to my list of "to do" items and get on creating that).

I am offically 4 days away from the big move and I am filled with many many emotions. Fear, happiness, excitement, fear...oh wait I said that already. But all in all I am just hoping for things to go smoothly, no hiccups. I think things have fallen into place so well that I am afraid that SOMETHING, just something has to go wrong. I need to stop jinxing myself, I know but fear has that way of playing games with my head.

So as I continue on with the packing, preping and all the other fun things that go wtih this move, I hope you all keep me in your prayers for a safe move and Ill keep you all updated

When we trust ourselves

"Sometimes to be strong, You have to stand alone"

For some reason this quote has become my mantra. I am finding so much strength in myself instead of relying on others to help me.

recently I made the decision to presue photography on my own. I had a fall out with a friend I did photography with for over 5 years. It was a business I helped build and I left it with clean hands.

With that said though, I missed being able to express my talent and my love of the digital arts.

So I made the bold step to do photography on my own. JinyP Photography was born LOL

so today I am displaying some of my recent work. Pride and joy fills me posting these pics and I hope you guys enjoy them as much as I do.

Peace and Love my fellow Bloggers

My decisions

I know, I know, its been a few moments since I have posted a blog, but this time it stands in good reason. No, I havent left my kindle...sorry my bloggers me and Kindle are still strong.

The reason I have been M.I.A. is because I have been preparing and planning for a move.

I made the defining decision to make a transfer to another town.

December 10th I will be relocating to the Capitol City of Topeka, KS. no more small town living for me, I will be moving to a bigger city all on my lonesome.

How so much changes in such a short time right!?

It was a very drastic last minute decision, but i knew it was time for a change and what time is better than the present right?

So in my time away I have put my deposit down on my apartment, purchased SOOO many items for my place and put in for my transfers at both my jobs. Now....its a waiting game, packing and planning, Uhaul reserving frenzy.

Ill post more as the days get closer, but its been an exciting last week or so and I am hoping to document my trip right here on blogger.

Just a little FYI* once i get to Topeka it might be a hot second before I have internet, but I will get it up as soon as I can.

PEACE and LOVE my bloggers

Because sometimes plans change

So from here on out I have decided to not ever PLAN vacations, because its quite obvious things never work out the way I want them to.

From the way I am starting this blog its quite obvious the trip to Baltimore I have been planning is not going to be happening.

Now before any of you jump down my throat about me not going to visit my family that I have not seen in 10 years, hear me out on why I am not going.

So for the last 72 hours I have been battling back and forth with my family on the details of my arrival which should have been taken care of a month ago.

I sent my itnerary via email to my uncle that I was supposed to be staying with for the duration of my trip, he was also to be the one to pick my up from the airport in Baltimore.

24hours later I receive an email back that says:

"call me, we will be gone the week your coming in"

So of course I go into freak mode, because if he will be gone that week...where am I going to stay? and Who is picking me up?

Immediatly i text my aunt and try to get an understanding about what is going on. The text back I get from her is:

"Dont worry I will pick you up"

Ok...........so during breakfest the next morning my parent and I decide to call my aunt to try and understand why she was now my pick up.

So during my conversation with my aunt I learn the following:

1) I was now being picked up by aunt and staying in Philly

and

2) my uncle (who knew for at least two months that I was coming) never told his wife that I was coming, or anyone else for that matter, and she booked a trip to St. Croix for the her and him.

needless to say this all was shocking and disturbing at the same time. But my aunt eased my concerns and assured me that she would come get me and all would be well.

so with my mind rested I continued with my plans for thanksgiving in now Philedelphia.

The next day...

I arrive at work and check my email:

Aunt: "hey can you switch your flight to come into philly"

Me: "ill look into it"

After an irritating call to southwest airlines...no flights to philly....

later that day at work the next email from my aunt:

"the airport in baltimore can be really crazy. when you come in, we might just have you take a train and ride from baltimore to philly, ill help pay for the ticket"

WHAT THE HELL!!!? at this point I have no idea what to think. there is no way in heck that I am going to be flying for 4 hours then arrive, AT NIGHT, to baltimore airport, get off with all my luggage and then catch a train from baltimore to philly for another hour-hour and half.....

this whole situation has become so ridiculous that I am just at a point where I am tired and I havent even left yet.

I thought maybe i was being irrational but after explaining what was happening to my parent....my moms exact words:

"Yea your not going"

So ends the tale of me and my trip to baltimore

now I sit with a credit to southwest airlines.

KC plans for thanksgiving, sounds like lighting of the plaza and black friday shopping with my family....

I can say that I am sad that I am not going, but I am glad that the stress I have been under is lifted. Vacations should be that...a vacation, not stressors..

SIGH OF RELIEF

There's No Place Like Home......

" There's No place like Home, There's No place like home....."

As cliche as this might sound (being as I am from Kansas), Judy Garland couldnt have been more right when speaking those words. There truly is no place like home.

In less then 20 days I will be making the trek across the country to the East Coast to visit my blood relatives ( I havent seen them in over 10 years, last time I was there it was for my uncle marks funeral, he killed himself), the family that is actually supposed to be the closest people to me.

Initially, when buying my ticket I was overjoyed to be able to finally see them after so long. My uncles and aunt who, as instilled in me, should be people who played a fundamental part in my life.

As the weeks have passed I cant help but feel more and more.......saddened by going. (as I am typing this, yes I am crying). The people I am going to see....in essence, are strangers, though the same blood flows through them as is does me.

The faces I should know by heart, I will barely recognize. I dread stepping off the plane and feeling a sense of loss. Though my body will be in Baltimore....my heart will be in Kansas.




I am brought to tears knowing that I will miss Thanksgiving with the family I have come to know and love. Ill miss my uncle Charles giving me hell as I walk through their KC home (as is tradition we go to my Uncle Charles and Aunt Deanne's home for Dinner) and his all to familiar laugh that always brings a smile to my face. Ill miss my cousins Chloe and J'den running around being silly preteens and fighting over the usual things that preteens fight about (which is anything).

Ill miss my cousin Micah and me sitting in a large chair together by the fire laughing at the newest boy gossip we have as our stomachs growl waiting for dinner to finish.

Though these people are only my family by marriage...they are the family I have come to know and love so very much. They are the reason I love this time of season and look forward to it every year. The thought of not being part of that this year fills me with so much saddness that even though I havent left yet, I'm filled with homesickness.


I feel such a heavy guilt that my own blood born family do not get the same respect of my excited emotions of seeing them as the people who have no blood ties to me do. I feel almost as if...I have betrayed them, like a traitor.

This holiday season I will truly feel conflicted and cannot wait for it to be over. I never thought I would feel this way when I finally made the decision to go back and see my family and hope that it is something I can deal with before it is time for me to leave.

Home truly is where you heart is...................

Unfaithful

"Oh baby you....you've got what I need........" (in my very heavy Biz Markie Voice)

So I am a low down dirty dog of the worst sort. I have been unfaithful and theres no way in heck that I have even been trying to hide it. I know I should be ashamed but...sadly I am not.

I have been cheating on my laptop, thats right Dell.....you are no longer #1 in my life.

Recently I have had a new man come into my life that has literally swept me off my digital feet.

I....I never knew I would fall so hard but....he does what you didnt my laptop lover.

his name??? ok, ok, Ill tell you all. His name is...Kindle. Just the sweet sound of his name brings digital chills to my very bones. How he speaks the language of love to my heart. He shows me things I could have only dreamed of.

LOL ok so I know I have been M.I.A for the last few weeks, but I have an excuse. I DIDNT SAY IT WAS A GOOD ONE! I just have one.

Recently I made the decision to order the one thing I had been foaming at the mouth to get...literally foaming at the mouth. ( yea its not a cute look for me)

My beloved kindle was but a click away via http://www.amazon.com/ .

So I ordered the one thing Ive been dying to have.

You would not believe the elation I felt when I received a text from my mother that the Kindle had arrived. I sped (literally break laws of motion) to get my coveted prize.

Had I known then, what I know now, perhaps I would have thought twice at purchasing this digital wonder.

But it was too late, I enter a world, I am scarily feeling that I may never return from.

I have actually read 5 whole books in the last 4 days....scary but very true. My kindle had opened a world ( that was actually already accessable to me) that I never recognized before.

It has been a addiction I now find hard to break....

do you think it will be the new craze/......the new drug of choice??

instead of people running around ashy and white mouthed screaming "I WANT CRACK!" they will shout, neck scratching and all "I WANT KINDLE!!"....

or perhaps it will just be me

do you all think there is kindle rehab?

On the Amends....

So I have to apologize to all my faithful blog readers out there....all 9 of you (well I guess there could be more, just non-followers...FOR SHAME!!).

I had made the pledge to be an avid blogger and the last few weeks I have been slacking....and for that I am sorry.

I should be flogged. I AM A WRETCH...I AM A CURR!! BROTHER NOOMSI CAN YOU EVER FORGIVE ME!!!? (ok for those of you who have no idea what refrence that was...watch The Golden Child....HILARIOUS!)

but on the real, I have been lacking in my blog post and not for less on what has been happening in my life. So for reals I apologize and promise not to keep you guys in the dark on my so called life again.

I cant always promise that something bizarre might come up (ie. ebola virus or mad cow monkey disease) but I truly will try to stay diligent on keeping you all posted on my crazy little escapades and my funny happenings. Cause we all know, I's one funny Cooka!

Love you all! and thank you for partaking in the little sliver of blogging joy I have!

My Movie Fave Pick of the Week

I am an avid movie watcher and have so many movies I truly love watching and could watch again and again. So every week or so I will share a few of my fave's maybe one of you will pick one watch it and it become one of your faves as well

This weeks pick: Pan's Labyrinth

Set in 1940's Spain against the postwar repression of Franco's Spain, a fairy tale that centers around Ofelia, a lonely dreamy child living with her mother and adoptive father who is a military office tasked with "ridding the area" of military rebels. In her loneliness, Ofelia creates a world with fantastical creatures and secret destinies. With facisim at its height, Ofelia must come to terms with with her world through a fable of her own creation.

This movie has everything a good movie plot line should have. Strong characters, suspense, moral value and an edge of your seat drama that will stun anyone, it is an A+ must see!

A BATTLE OF EPIC PORPORTIONS

The battle has been raging for three days and both sides are exhausted. The battlefield Jina is wrenched with ooze and fluids, barely recognizable to the peaceful serenity it used to be.

The enemy Bacterius Fluis refuses to back down, but the Army Immune System remains relentless in their fight in the typical battle of good versus evil.

The war wages on, however Battlefield Jina is soon to be won, the Army Immune system has gained an strong ally; Dayquil and Nyquil have come from surrounding countries to aid in this rescue mission. Bacterius Fluis does not stand a chance....

As I have so colorfully portrayed above, I am currently suffering from what most people would call the common cold, but I would like to call this ailment "Kill me please", because thats exactly how I feel! Like hot delicious death and I feel someone should drag me to an open pasture and put me out of my misery. Now you all know that I am a drama queen...and when I am sick its heightned by 600!

And the kicker to this whole situation is that literally 24 hrs before I got my coveted FLU SHOT, i got sick. and you bet your yang I still got that shot. Do I believe I have the flu? negative, but because the internet tells me I dont, please reference link below to know the difference between the flu and the cold

http://www.flufacts.com/about/cold.aspx

Now A days you can pretty much self diagnose anything, I am not paying a copay for NOTHING!
If arms or legs are not falling off, Ill self diagnose, THANK YOU!
I am just going to tough out this funky bug until I am better. Until then its chicken soup, blankies, and whining...

A haircut away....

Recently I made the decision to cut my hair. I've never been a big fan of short hair but because I have a "round" face it works for me and my face shape. Before I made the decision to cut my hair, I had been dead set on growing it out. When I was a kid my mom made it a point to make my hair grow as long as possible, I had a pony tail that reached the middle of my back. But as I have gotten older I have decided that short hair is not only more managable, but also more flattering. I guess you can say I look...grown...or something like that.

I cut off a grand total of 2 inches off, I figured if I was going to cut it, I wanted it to be noticable. After I cut off my hair, dried my locks and applied all necessary product to keep it from doing its crazy magic trick...afro, I just stared in the mirror analyzing the reflection staring back at me.

If anyone knows me, I am fairly confident person, sure of myself and my convictions. But like anyone else, I also have my insecurities as well. If you didnt know, I recently have lost over 27lbs and for anyone who has lost any kind of significant amount of weight, its a hard adaption to letting go of the person you used to be.

Staring into that mirror I saw myself so differently. Recently I also go grey contacts so seeing my image its like looking at a whole new person. To be honest, did I like what I saw? Yes, I guess you can say that I did, but it was like truly seeing myself for the first time. Realizing, that even without the weight and the contacts and the cute haircut...I was me, and I liked what I saw.

Self acceptance is a hard learned emotion, but for once I got a sweet taste of it. For once I could look in the mirror and say "jina, you truly are beautiful", not in that narcasistic way, but in the way where for once I could walk outside and be happy with how I was, the world be damned.

I am not perfect, never claimed to be, but even if I was, How boring would that be?

God Bless Guys!

Confessions of a shopaholic

They say that admitting that you have a problem is the first step...now, I am not going to put all my business on front street, but perhaaaaaps....I might have a slight problem.

ALRIGHT ALRIGHT DAMN IT, I have an addiction.

(standing up)

Hi my name is Jina Price and I have a shopping problem.

There! I said it! HAPPY?? HAPPY???

ok ok let me call down.

So as I am sitting here staring at my old navy, dillards, kohls and target bag, I realize that Yes, I do have some shopping issues. But its not like I am buying that I dont need!!!

I mean come on, who doesnt need a Jessica Simpson travel carry on? or So suede boots. Its winter time and they will be very useful.

I think we all have our little vices and shopping just happens to be mine.

I wish I could explain the feeling I get when I find just the right bargain, its like a rush...a High.

Its my little pleasure in life that perhaps I indulge in a little too often.

So today I make the pledge to calm down on my shopping endeavors...to keep from buying more than can fit into my closet and No i do not need 30 pairs of shoes

After I order this stuff from Gap.com

I pledge this!

You Light up my Life

Rolling over in my comfy bed, I rub my sleepy eyes. Yawn and stretch....another start to another day, as I lay there and ponder the new days happenings an amazing revelation comes to me. I have something very great to look forward to! I get to see the new love of my life today...HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY!!!

I have to tell you about my new love, I cant say enough really! He's simply.....amazing, yes amazing thats the world I will use. He is sweet as can be with a very soft side, He can always put me in a place where I find utter elation. When I feeling that bubbly feeling in the bottom of my tummy, he can always ease that feeling, he has those mystical powers. I would have to say he truly is the highlight of my day.

Who could this mystery man be, you ask? Oh Ill show him to you!

Introducing the new man in my Life:

(drum roll inserted here)

NUTELLA.........Yea....had you fooled didnt I?
Though he may not see much to you, he is EVERYTHING to me!

This miracle spread made from the nectar of the Gods has been a heaven send straight to my hazelnut chocolate loving heart.

If you didnt know, I am going to tell you, Ferrero Rochers just happen to be my most favoritest candy in ALL the world. (if you have never had one, your dead to me!....kidding..not really). And from the makers of Ferrero comes this amazing spread that I, personally, like to accompany with a nice piece of soft honey wheat bread makes my mornings heaven.

I literally look forward to going to work to have my Nutella and bread (yea its little things for me ok!), nothing can make me right again.

I had heard about Nutella through commercials (personally it looked like jarred dog shit) and it never looked all that appealing to me. BUT do not let appearance fool you, this spread is a gold mine of tastiness. Also after reading a fellow bloggers blog of the delicious Nutella(http://jamiejenson.blogspot.com/2010/10/soundtrack-for-my-love.html ), I was sold, I went to wal-mart and snagged my jar...I have been devoted ever since.

Nutella, You had me at Hello!

Waiting on Prince Charming

I'll sit in my darkened room, silently upon my bed

I'll lay against my pillows while those thoughts cross through my head

Will you come across the yard and throw a stone up at my window?

or will you send flowers to my work with a letter that just says "hello"?

Prince Charming will you rescue me from the loneliness I feel

Ive waited for you for quite some time and Im wondering, are you real?

Im beginning to think that Love is just a story that they tell

A fictional dream they tell little girls, a fable just a myth.

Save me Prince Charming, on your horse white and strong

Cause I've waited, yes Ive waited and its been very long

Ill curl into my comfy bed and I'll dream of you tonight

tears drop fall upon my pillow, even though holding back with all my might.

Prince charming, you dont exsist for me tonight.

Fire Pits and Family

Nothing screams the oncoming of Autumn like one of my Aunt Rachels famous backyard Firepits and tonight was no exception to that rule!

Whenever the weather gets just right it gives us the reason to Cozy up to my Aunt Rachels large metal firepit and bring out the hotdogs and smores.

Tonight was just a touch different, my Grandfather, bless his little elderly soul, decided to spice things up by making a big heaping pot of Gumbo to go with our firepit. It was a glorious sight to be hold for sure. Someone topped it all of by bring Jalapeno Cornbread, amazing is all I can say about the food.

Not only though is the good, but the company, these amazing firepit nights would never been as special if I didnt have the family to go with it. We have fanstatic debates on current topics, we giggle about past memories, or just sit around and make poke fun at those who just happen to become a target. Its all innocent harmless fun.

Its so heartwarming to know that I have such an amazing family who can do the littlest things but it becomes such a bonding event. I am truly blessed and my family is one of my biggest blessings.

I brought my friend Anthony with me and I was so glad he was able to mesh so well with everyone. Of course I got the never ending boyfriend probing questions and I could only reassure them that I have not yet reached the point of desperation that would draw me to date a 20 year old. But in all seriousness he, like every other person I have allowed to accompany me to a family function, was overwhelmed at how big and close we all our. Its our dynamic, the glue that holds us all together, when times get tough, our bong gets tougher. Not everyone has what we have and we never fail to forget that.

One Large Metal Firepit=$300.00
Lawnchairs=19.99 each
family sized Nathan brand Hot Dogs=10.99
Loving family and friends around a fire=priceless

Home Invaders Part Deux

Though I dont normally post Part Deux, I feel this blog deserved to bear the same title. So on to the blog....

After a particularly rough day at work and gym, I did a little grocery shopping. I came home and while innocently unpacking my grocery, I was startled to find that I was not alone. Actually I was scared pissless....yes thats the depiction i would like to use, scared pissless...(and for those of you who know me...scared pissless is something that rarely ever happens). I looked up to find a pre-pubescent man child standing in front of me, watching me unpack my store bought delights.

remarkably my only response was "....uuuh, hey little guy, you lost?", YEA good response right?

the response back I got was "Mr. Price (my father) wanted me to tell you that he is in the basement, and Hi!"

Lets all keep in mind, A) I still have no idea who this person is B) why would I care where my dad is at???

Before I could get any questions out to this lil/big person, he scurried back down to one said basement.

After unpacking all my wears, my curiosity go the best of me, so I decided to investigate.

Once entering our Den, I found my father, mother and one said man child all parked on the couches....HOW COZY.

Then it all came to me who this child was and hence why my parents were home. Then I got the warm and fuzzies (ill explain the warm and fuzzies).

I joined my family and decided to watch the movie it seemed that they were all hunkering down to watch (just as a side note, Clash of the Titans is an ok movie, but the original is much better).

So to explain the warm and fuzzies, the man/child (i call him this because his 13, no quite a child and not yet a man) we will call him charlie*, is a student of a local school here that is a military school, some children are sent there due to behavioral issues or some would call it a boarding school. whatever the case maybe, my father just happens to be one of the sponsers there. He brought Charlie* home because my parents are sponsor parents and they feel they can be positive influences on his life, which is amazing. My parents never fail to amaze me!

I think there arent enough people out there trying to make a difference in kids lives and thank God my parents are one of them. I'd like to think of Charlie* as my newly adoptive brother.

At one point of the night, I was razzing my dad, which happens on a regular basis, I mentioned to Charlie* that I am the favorite so I can get away with that. Charlie* looks at me, then at my dad and mom and says "well now I am the favorite"..........Sadly I had to beat him, and shake him down, reminding him to know his place and that NOONE is the favorite but me!

LOL just kidding....not really

*names have been changed due to personal information

The Endless Sea of Racks and the New beaten Path

Racks and Racks as far as the eye can see...the Merchandise sea is a rough one today, its been a vigorous shopping day and much work needs to be done. The damage is severe and as Captain I must guide my team in damage control.

From T rack to rack we attack like soldiers, righting what was wronged. We are soldiers in an endless war.....

I have never said that I wasnt a drama queen, nor have I ever said that I didnt have an active imagination, but all kidding aside, the sitaution may have been a dramatization, but the events are still the same.

Recently, I started my second job in retail, though I have worked retail before, it never fails to amaze me how draining it can be. Just last evening me and my team of two spent 3 1/2 hours working on half the store that was demolished after a shopping day.

I am absolutely astonished about the absolute disregard for store merchandise by shoppers. "Didnt your mama teach you any damn manners!" dont touch the crap if your not going to buy it and if its not your size, find the one you want and just take that, dont flip the whole stack to find your size, YOU DAMN HEATHEN!

ok, ok, my bout of anger is over....kinda

But even in this jumbled up mess I never forget my end goal, this endless work is a means to end. As I continue to build up my hours I also build up my green, money that is, which brings me close to a Uhaul that brings me closer to pulling out of this black hole of town and on to the next chapter in my life. There is a method to the madness.

Putting on a happy face and sucking up this endless drivel will not last forever and I have to keep my head at where my goal is.

God never fails to amaze me how good he is and how he has blessed me with this oppurtunity and I will not yet look a gift horse in the face!

I am blessed and highly favored an will not let this go to waste.

Keep your heads up and heart to God!

Dreams make Life Tolerable

Life has a this tendency to become...predictable. It is so easy for people to become complacent and comfortable in life. Getting wrapped up into mediocrity.

At some point in time we all had dreams to be something, do something, see something, somehow so many people lose track of that. They get sucked into the day to day, the routine of life that they forget the hopes and dreams they once coveted.

How is it that when we are young its so easy to dream big dreams, and hope big hopes, but as years pass by we begin to think them impossible.

Having dreams is what makes life tolerable...I heard this quote on TV and just couldnt believe how much it rang true.

I realize more than ever now, how much I want to go out and chase the dreams that I know will awaken me from this life in slumber.

For those of you who know me, I have recently taken on a second job (hence the delay in blog, i apologize). Why? because, i feel that I have this uncontrollable drive to get out.......get out of this sleepy town, see the world and experience the things that at one point in my life i promised myself I would do. November I start my first trek and that is going to Baltimore for a week. after that....that plan is semi unclear but as the gears in my head turn, i feel myself being pulled to do that things that at one point time were the driving force of my life.

I refuse to let fear hold me back any longer....tomorrow is never promised and we have to live for today, and I for one am going to begin living!

better late then never!

Home Invaders

Nothing ruins the quiet serenity of small town suburbia then the consistent droning of HOME INVADERS.

To our must utmost dismay our home has now become a dwelling for winged spawn of Satan!

Imagine for a moment will you? Your pulling on your garden gloves, pushing the good ole lawn cutter and are coasting along to a perfectly cut lawn. When all of a sudden, the skies turn gray, and a ominous cloud surrounds you, Pain ripples through a section of your back. You spin searching for the source when POW!!! your hit in the neck, then the leg, then the thigh. You run, but there is no escape, your hit two more time in the buttocks. You trip over a lawn gnome and get tangled in the garden hose, Oh Jesus your disabled and vulnerable. Then...then you look into the face of your attacker! He's small, beady eyed and stripped. a wasp...no not A wasp, a HORDE of wasps...your a goner.

OK OK, so this is a dramatization of actual events, names and dates have been changed to protect the innocent...or something like that

But needless to say we have had some unwanted visitors.

I unfornatly got to meet these "special guests" today.

As I came home from work and innocently was walking toward the front door. I was so close to the "safe zone" when all of sudden I noticed something flying around me, actually two somethings, wait...no three...WTF, i was being swarmed. All of a sudden my conversation with my mother about the wasps came rushing back to me. My fight or flight instinct instantly kicked in. (I am not much of a fighter, Im a lover actually...wink wink....) and I sprinted for the door, In my blind terror I was none to graceful in my escape.

I scrambled for the door and in the process got my foot caught,, I fell through the front door, with skin missing from my shin and fell over my toy poodle....

It wasnt a pretty sight and im pretty sure my shin looks like lunch meat...yea I have braved to look at it.

After this evenings "festivities" I am 110% sure that bugs are on a mission to take out the human race one bumbling idiot at a time.

What these winged hellions arent aware of is that they will soon be homeless and possible wingless when I am done, AHHAHAHAHHHAHAHHHEHEHHEHEHAHHHAHHAHA....

Blood, Sweat and....Ok maybe not blood, but sweat for sure

So I wouldnt actually come out and say that I am health nut. I am definetely not a "salad eating chick" for sure. But if any of you know me, which most dont so....yea anyway, You will know that for the last 8mnths I have been working hard at becoming healthy.

I believe in everyone's life they go through a self realization that maybe its time to change themselves for the better. Well I can say that kind of happend for me, however my self realizating moment happend in a doctors office. Doc says "Jen, either lose weight or be diabetic"...hmmmm I think ill go with the lose weight, please and thank you.

So began my "battle" of the bulge.

Its been a uphill battle all the way, but I can say that I am very proud of the results. With a combo of Kickboxing, Zumba and Weight training,to date, I have dropped 4 pant sizes and over 27lbs. I cant say I am anywhere close to my end goal weight, but I am Leaps and Bounds away from hypertension and diabetes.

I realize now that God only gives you one life to live and how you live it is up to you.

LIVE HEALTHY, LIVE HAPPY!

Sometimes We can pretend...can't we?

To say this weekend was an eye opener is an understatement....

I decided to visit my cousin Micah at college, which isnt anything out of the ordinary, she told me about a frat party she wanted me to attend with her. A dance party to be exact.

I had some general reservations about it because A) its a frat party B) am I WAY to old to be going to a frat party?

I felt like if I went would this age alert go off as soon as I walked through the door. Like campus police would come and drag me out. Or at the door would the ask for my ID and say "geez grandma, why dont you go back to the nursing home!".

LOL I know I can be such a drama queen, but thats exactly how I felt.

I actually made it a point to shop for an outfit that would make me look like i was "hip".

HOW SAD IS THAT!!!?

So I finally decide to go, pack for a weekend of the unexpected.

Thinking that I have successfully put together just the right outfit.....................

We hyped ourselves up all day for this party, the excitment was sooo high for it.

My nerves were on edge the whole time getting ready!

Finally it was time to go to the party...i think my palms were actually sweating.

I just kept my head up and turned up my "pretty girl swag" LMAO and strutted my happy ass in there. Just kept on like I was supposed to be there.

Turned out, I really didnt have much to worry about. The party was poppin for sure!

The Sigmas did the party right, with a great DJ leadin the way we all stepped and dropped it like it was hot...(I sound like a retard just typing this) lol

But by 2 am, reality hit me, MAYBE just MAYBE I AM tooo old for this.

I parked my happy ass in a chair because i was exhausted.

my abs hurt and my feet were out of my heels with a quickness.

How did these kids make it till 4am???

All I could think about was bed and my pajamas....I even had someone come up and ask "What? cant hang?"....LAME!!!

Eventually we made it back to the dorm, I climbed the ladder to crawl into the dorm bed that i'd be spending the night in. I thought I would immediatly pass out into a exhaustion induced coma...but sleep didnt come instantly.

Laying in that bed thoughts came crashing on me. Laying in that dorm bed it made realize how much this was the life i missed out on. So many years ago, i could have had these same experiences. College was a big regret for me in life, I had the oppurtunity to go and I chose not to. I know in life you should never have regrets, but this was mine.

I feel like this void in my life was because of the stupid decisions I had made.

Laying in that bed also made me realize though, that try as we might, we can grasp and reach for the things we SHOULD have done or WOULD have had, but why not look at what we DO have and HAVE done. I can live life in regret, or I can live life in the now.

Ill go with that. Ill leave the college memories for my cousin to share with me when she comes home for holidays. and I live my adult life not trying to be 22 to again, but Im 27 now!

Enchiladas and Touchdowns

There are just nights that I would call complete bliss.

Last night would have been one of them. I can say that it was amazing and relaxing.

This is how the night went.

First thing was I got out of the gym came home, and soaked in a hot shower (AMAZING!!!)

I truly feel that nothing sets you right again then a hot shower.

Next was my super comfy scotty dog JAMMY pants (yea i said jammy).

I then proceeded to help my mother make home made chicken enchiladas. With my amazing enchilada rolling skills, they came out amazing. I dont really know what my mom meant when she called them a "hot mess" but im assuming she was marveling at my fantastic technique!!!

After baking our ENCH's for 20 minutes, my mom, dad and I call hunkered down for some BOOB TUBE. and by boob tube I mean, the NEW ORLEANS SAINTS vs the vikings (puke) game.

There are the times I am going to miss when i do finally move away, I love my parents so much and we are so very close. These little moments are what I live for.

All in all the night was awesome and I would trade it for anything!

Quote of the Day

"A Bird doesn't sing Because it has an Answer, It sings because it has a Song"

Free at last, Lord, Sweet Lord, I'm Free at last

I have finally been released from my prison, set free from the chains of bondage......the rein of terror is over!!!!


Am I dramatic??.....never

I have finally escaped the torture of Cookie Hell.....

Now I can already see the looks on all of your blog reading faces. The eyebrow crooked high,WTF look, yea I know it well.

But none of you have any idea what kind of trauma I've been through....I'm not sure I will recover.
For the last 48 hours I have almost set myself into a cookie induced coma.

How did this happen? let me explain.

It all started with one school related fundraiser and one HENIOUS bucket of chocolate chip cookie dough.
Sounds innocent enough right!?? WRONG! your all DEAD wrong.

Two Dozens delicously prefabricated cookies later, I was one cookie jar short of death.
I've never been much of a sweets eater. I'm more of a fried chicken and hot sauce kinda girl (keep the damn stereotypes to yourself).
But one single trip to the cookie jar sealed my fate.

once i took a bite of that deliciously, sweet, savory, buttery, chocolatey deliciousness..I was lost. How does a cookie baked 48hrs ago stay so soft and moist, yet have a slight crispness to it?

How do cookies taste like heaven encompassed into this amazing little morsel.

There was no stopping me, believe me I tried, but what was the use in fighting an urge that couldnt be controlled.

One empty cookie jar later.....I paid the price...slowly dipping in and out of cookie conciousness....I am not sure if I remembered the hospital trip, nor do I remember them pumping my stomach....all i remember was chocolate chip after taste.......



ok ok.....so I never went to the hospital, nor did I go into a coma. BUT I did eat 30+ cookies.
Am I proud??? no, but am I satisfied? YOU BET YOUR ASS!!!!

Quote of the Day

"Sometimes You have to Stand alone to Prove you can Still Stand"

Fork in the Road

At some point in time, we all have to make hard, and possibly scary decisions in life. I personally feel that's what keeps you feeling alive.
I am at that point right now now, I am a fork in the road of life, at the Crux of life change decision, I am standing at the precipice (ahhahahahah i love that word) of change......

I have to decide to move or not to move....(yea sorry this couldn't have been more exciting, BUT it is for me) DON'T YOU JUDGE ME!!

I have juggled with this decision for quite a while now. To stay or to go. You would think it would be an easy enough decision, but its one I cant help but battle with.

I've come to point where this sleepy little town holds nothing for me, yet the thought of living in a town that is completely new, excites and scares me.

I am now inclined to just jump both feet first into the move. I just found a room share where someone is looking for a roommate (again another scary situation) and know that I could work my job here in town and drive back and forth until i find a job in the other town.

there are so many decisions floating around in my head and to try and sort through them is....mind boggling to say the least.

Input, I need input, please my fellow bloggers.....what would you do!?

Quote of the Day

"When life pushes you to
the end of your rope, Tie a knot and Hang on!"

Human Hibernation....?

ZZZZZ...zzzz..ZZZZZZZ

This has been the culmination of my Labor Day weekend. Sad?.....I know!

I am not exactly sure how this happend but I cant say that I am mad that it happend. This was purely by choice. Yes, I chose to sleep my WHOLE weekend away.

It seemed like all I wanted to do is curl up in my bed, laptop in one hand, remote in the other and just...Hibernate.

It might be the change in weather, here in kansas the tempature has slowly been lowering and at nights its been 60 to 50's. Maybe my body sense's the impending fall and has now gone into hibernation mode.

I wonder if there is a study on human hibernation.........

OH LOOK I FOUND ONE!

Reaseachers ask-Can humans hibernate?

http://http//www.spiegel.de/international/spiegel/0,1518,393746,00.html

perhaps I may not be hybernating but I wont lie, this sleep thing has been good. I think all these weeks of skimping on my sleep has finally caught up to me. I wont lie, I feel rejuvinated and refreshed......to start another week of work. LAME

Oh well...its a four day work week that will lead me to another weekend of lack there of sleep, hence restarting the sleep deprevation cycle. RINSE AND REPEAT

There's always a ScapeGoat

Regardless of any bad situation, there will always be a scapegoat.

Sadly in our society we are always looking for someone to blame.

where is this coming from? you ask?

I have recently been victim to becoming the dreaded scapegoat in a silly drama filled situation that I, IN NO WAY, feel like explaining because it would only lead to a incurable case of carpal tunnel and rigamortis of my fingers typing the incredibly long, incredibly ridiculous situation via blog. Just know that we are all better for it by me not typing this out and just knowing that the end result is me being the scapegoat.

Now down to the meat of this blog. How it feels to be one.

It has to be the most maddening and yet helpless feeling in the world.

Your are not only infuriated by the fact someone has dumped their emotional baggage onto you and made you out to be a villain in a situation but your now helpless to defend yourself.

Because we all know, once you try to defend yourself, it only solidifies all the erroneous things that person was saying about you.

LE SIGH...it truly is a lose, lose situation.

I find myself becoming the scapegoat in a lot of situations, which brings me to the crazy thought that is there maybe something about myself that would cause this to happen.

Of course the most human reaction would be to do a little self reflection. But I refuse, this time, to allow this to make me question the person that I am. I will not apologize for someone else's insecurities.

When it comes to situations like this, it just better to just let things blow over, assess the relationships in question and stick to my guns.

Or I can put on my big kid pants and do what every other angry, fury driven person does in the 2010 age.....hit the "unfriend" button via facebook....thats right kids get 'em where it hurts. Their facebook wall.

AHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA...im so evil....................or something like that :) Nite blog world